Either that dog is Sandy's lap dog or you have taught it to give blowjobs. If that sucker was mine it would be a dead dog, Hell, I have had wives that were not worth $468.

This is the dog that I like. I made it very clear to Sandy that if it was the other dog - Deadsville would be her new home. I am an animal lover only up to where it begins to cost me. I've known people who have spent thousands of dollars on surgeries only to put the dog to sleep weeks later because there was no saving them. I have compassion:price ratio embedded in me. I'm not sure what the numbers are exactly, but this mutt doesn't know how lucky he is to be home right now. ;)

I went out and bought a cone to keep him from ripping open his staples. Now he looks even more pathetic.