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-   -   The Pope Has Died (http://www.greenguysboard.com/board/showthread.php?t=18173)

Useless 2005-04-01 09:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cleo
Butt Plug
Ball Fan

http://www.buttplugballfan.com/

digifan 2005-04-01 09:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Theproofhouse
I wish someone would stick a butt plug up your fucking ass!
Being rude to a lady AND mod won't solve your problem nor heal the pope.. a very sick 84 yr old man. That's not GFY and hope it will never turn to be one...

Cleo 2005-04-01 09:13 PM
Mars butt plugs

Kinky 2005-04-01 09:16 PM
the divine butt plug (buttplug) (the ad text is great) :D

Cleo 2005-04-01 09:22 PM
666

Kinky 2005-04-01 09:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cleo
man the ad text for those is hilarious... check out the "jesus jackhammer"

Useless 2005-04-01 09:25 PM
In the year of your lord 1989, a drunk Marine declared that I was god on the beach of Monterey Bay. (I had helped him up after he fell in the sand and handed his white Stetson to him) Later that year, a smallish man with a big scar on his forehead offered me a blowjob for giving him directions to the Monterey Yacht Club, which was just around the corner from where we were. He had a hard time believing that I wasn't gay. He said that if I'm not gay, then there is no god. My wife often screams 'oh god' during orgasm. But she also says 'oh fuck'. Those are my closest brushes with the possibility of a higher power.

Cleo 2005-04-01 09:27 PM
Thou shalt have outrageous orgasms

Kinky 2005-04-01 09:29 PM
when I was a little kid I got dragged to church and had to give 50 cents of my allowance to the collection plate every weekend.... I'm still completely pissed about that |angry| it really is ridiculous... they had seperate smaller envelopes for the little ones to uses that just held change

Cleo 2005-04-01 09:32 PM
I handed out Watch Tower magazines door to door.

Now I hand out porn to the masses.

Less guilt, more fun.

Kinky 2005-04-01 09:33 PM
by the way, is this thread even true yet? is he dead or alive?

Torn Rose 2005-04-01 09:35 PM
Dead yet?

Useless 2005-04-01 09:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kinky
when I was a little kid I got dragged to church and had to give 50 cents of my allowance to the collection plate every weekend.... I'm still completely pissed about that |angry|
Yup, I too was raised Catholic, though my brother and I only completed our first communion. The Sunday after our communion, our parents asked us if we still wanted to go to church. Ha! That was a tough one to answer. When I first enlisted in the army, I had them put Roman Catholic on my dog tags. A year later I got new tags which read 'None' on the religion line. I've a been a devout member of the Church of None ever since. There's no tithe, I can sleep in Sundays, and I don't feel guilty about dumping my seed on rim of the toilet.

Cleo 2005-04-01 09:37 PM
CNN is reporting that he is still alive.

Greenguy 2005-04-01 09:44 PM
Regardless of if there is a God or not (and if there is, if he feels the need to have everyone spell his name with a capital G) there is only one |buddy| and you should all bow to his greatness.

And lets just remember....you sling porn for a living - you are all sinners!

I for one wish he'd just get it over with so that the news would stop focusing on him.

Kinky 2005-04-01 09:46 PM
I'm betting that he will make a full recovery and it will be miraculous in nature :D

Torn Rose 2005-04-01 09:49 PM
Bible Thumpers are above all in morals greenguy..... nice having gone from 24/7 Terri to 24/7 pope....

Jaden 2005-04-01 10:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cleo
You are the one that doesn't like my views.

I do have this image now of the old guy bent over with a large butt plug up his ass screaming oh god, oh god, yessssss ohhh ahhh don't stop yet, ohhh god it hurts so fucking good!

Cleo.....You cracked my ass up tonight when I read this LOL

Tommy 2005-04-01 10:19 PM
the chicken guy died today
Frank perdue

RawAlex 2005-04-01 10:33 PM
Ahh.... we are all sinners, yes, but all good catholics know that as long as you repent before you die, you go to heaven anyway.

...or so "they" say.... whoever "they" are.

Anyway, pornrex, Cleo's comment wasn't rude... perhaps crude, perhaps tasteless, but not rude in and of itself. It's a social commentary, nothing more. Rude is something else (see post by proofhouse on the subject).

I am open to all opinions, but freedom around here (and many other places) is to comment (and even attack) the IDEAS, not the person.

Cleo, http://www.beyondjw.com - you can have some fun screwing with them if you like, the owner is quite a sensitive type. :)

Alex

PS: never tried a butt plug, have no intentions of starting now.

Cleo 2005-04-01 11:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tommy
the chicken guy died today
Frank perdue
A chicken farmer went walking out one dark and fateful day
He rested by the coop as he went on along his way
When all at once a rotten egg hit him in the eye
It was the sight he dreaded
Ghost chickens in the sky!

Bok bok bok BOK
Bok bok BOK
The ghost chickens in the sky

The farmer had raised chickens since he was 24
A-working for the Colonel for thirty years or more
Killing all those chickens and sending them to fry
Now they want revenge...
Ghost chickens in the sky.

Bok...

Their feet were black and shiny, their eyes were burning red
They had no meat or feathers, these chickens all were dead
They carried off the farmer and he died by the claw
They cooked him extra crispy
And ate him with cole slaw

Bok...

Kinky 2005-04-02 04:03 AM
do chickens go to heaven? |potleaf|

urb 2005-04-02 05:07 AM
It's gone noon in Rome and The Holy Father is still alive.
|buddy|

digifan 2005-04-02 05:27 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kinky
do chickens go to heaven? |potleaf|
Only the victims of birdflu.

Kinky 2005-04-02 05:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by digifan
Only the victims of birdflu.
so god does discriminate? |couch| it must be the Corona with a lime talking

stuveltje 2005-04-02 06:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by digifan
I hope you are trying to say you only believe in yourself, your ability, honesty, hard work etc... I am not a Catholic, nor a church goer at all but I respect others beliefs... we have a saying here: "Help yourself and God will help you too"... to make you strong, healthy etc. so you can fill your wallet.

Good luck :)
docs make me better when i am sick , i have to pay those, if i cant work i earn no money, i cant pay the doc and i cant pay for food, so will god fill my wallet now if i cant pay my bills, i dont mind people have an "god" what i do mind is that some are trying to confinche others ,who dont believe in god, to do believe in their god. with all the respect for others who do believe, but i have to work to fill my wallet

Kinky 2005-04-02 06:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by pornrex
No my friend you've had catholicism and protestantism shoved down your throat for that long, of course it isn't all the pleasant.

Christianity was not meant to be watered down, doctored and package in the manner in which you see it today.

You want to really understand what Christianity is all about? Study Orthodox Christianity. That form of Christianity was and STILL is the true form of Christianity - as it has been taught and preached for 2000 years. It is the original Christianity - everything else is derived from it.

Catholicism (which in its present form has been in existance for 652 years) and Protestantism (which has been split into so many forms, you can't tell which end is up down left or right) or any derivative thereof are complete frauds - look at the dwindling attendance in those churches if you want proof!!

I'll make it simple for you to understand: There is only one Jack Daniels, right? Everything else is just bourbon and not worthy of comparison to JD. Oh sure there are knock offs and perhaps there are bourbons out there that MAY have a better flavor but realize this: there is only one JD.

One last thing: I find it quite interesting that a number of you post "god" with a lower case g. Quite interesting indeed.

Remember this if anything else: God is not a mean God. God is love. "People" kind through sin and disillusionment always blame God for their troubles (if in fact they believe in him or not) but almost always never admit their mistakes.

|peace|
damn I missed this post altogether... must be the beer.... but it's interesting how "god" gets credit for all the good things that happen, but all the bad thing like 100,000+ dying in a tidal wave are just fine and dandy

docholly 2005-04-02 08:25 AM
Quote:
when I was a little kid I got dragged to church and had to give 50 cents of my allowance to the collection plate every weekend.... I'm still completely pissed about that it really is ridiculous... they had seperate smaller envelopes for the little ones to uses that just held change
I'm the daughter of a missionary and minister.. NO ONE spent more time in church than we did. the way i figured it, after I stopped going at age 15 when i left home, I'd spent enough time to cover the next 60-65 years.



Quote:
Originally Posted by RawAlex
Ahh.... we are all sinners, yes, but all good catholics know that as long as you repent before you die, you go to heaven anyway.

...or so "they" say.... whoever "they" are.
OHHHH, thanks RA..i always wondered why those priets always thought it was A-OK to bugger those 12 yr old boys. Must be because they can confess right before they die and all is forgiven!!

hmmm maybe they melted down all those St. Christopher medals that were cast aside a few years ago to make a long lasting butt plug.

|cool| << prays to be spared from all fanatics.

Cleo 2005-04-02 08:29 AM
Butt Plug





.

Kinky 2005-04-02 08:33 AM
buttplug thepope (and please don't worry.... right before I die I will repent for all of the religious buttplug (Butt Plug) jokes for all of us :D so everything is A O.K. |thumb (do you like my SEO on the buttplug/Butt Plug keywords? let's open the GG&J butt plug store :D

Useless 2005-04-02 08:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kinky
do chickens go to heaven? |potleaf|
According to Catholics, no. Neither do the mentally retarded or babies who have not been baptised. Damned evil babies and their original sin. Imagine that? Your god thinks so little of you he says your are born a sinner.

Poor little chickens. What did they do so wrong that they can't go off to the land of fluffy white clouds and harp playing cherubs when they lay their last egg?

Kinky 2005-04-02 09:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Useless Warrior
According to Catholics, no. Neither do the mentally retarded or babies who have not been baptised. Damned evil babies and their original sin. Imagine that? Your god thinks so little of you he says your are born a sinner.

Poor little chickens. What did they do so wrong that they can't go off to the land of fluffy white clouds and harp playing cherubs when they lay their last egg?
damn I feel really bad now... I've sent A LOT of kentucky fried chickens straight to hell :D although I've heard that it isn't really chicken so I feel much better about it now... maybe I'm a hindu... they worship chickens right? or is that cows?

AND BY THE WAY EVERYBODY INVLOVED IN THIS THREAD IS BLASPHEMOUS AS THE POPE IS STILL KICKIN'

Cleo 2005-04-02 09:14 AM
I'm pretty sure that they worship cows so I guess they don't eat a lot of MacDonald's food.

Yeah most of the world is not Christian so I guess hell must be kind of full about now.

Personally I worship my morning cup of coffee each day and that is about it.

Kinky 2005-04-02 09:33 AM
BREAKING NEWS!!!!!
 
the news is reporting that nothing has changed as of yet... in yet another twist a group of "vigilantes" hell bent on mass justice have been seen patrolling the nations southern borders in Arizona looking for trouble and illegal aliens of which our president seems to want to embrace

Useless 2005-04-02 09:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kinky
AND BY THE WAY EVERYBODY INVLOVED IN THIS THREAD IS BLASPHEMOUS AS THE POPE IS STILL KICKIN'
More of a twitchin' than a kickin'.

How old is the poor old dude anyway?

Kinky 2005-04-02 09:50 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Useless Warrior
More of a twitchin' than a kickin'.

How old is the poor old dude anyway?
well this is 2005 A.D. so either 1911 or something else... AND DON'T ASK HOW i FIGURED THAT OUT AS IT REALLY DID INVOLVE A PEN AND PAPER

Torn Rose 2005-04-02 10:10 AM
Dead yet?

Kinky 2005-04-02 10:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Torn
Dead yet?
I think Gabbo is still kicking :D oh wait... just got an update and Gabbo was killed by the prop of a swamp boat in florida... coincidence? I think so..... but the pope is still the same... it is being credited to the Ionic Breeze air cleaner (if it doesn't say Ionic Breeze then it isn't r r r r real)

Greenguy 2005-04-02 10:55 AM
Butt Plug

Kinky 2005-04-02 11:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greenguy
who said anything about a buttplug (butt plug) ? geez you own the board and think it is ok to be a perve :D


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