"Mom, Dad....I make fake baby batter and create simulated facial cumshots."

"Ya mean like for PORNOGRAPHY?"

"Umm, no, umm, think Got Milk? Only on a naked actress who had just taken a pounding from a stunt cock who couldnt shoot another drop without bleeding from his balls...so I create his psuedo climatical love juice."

"Well, honey, as long as you're the best fake baby batter maker there is..thats all that matters."

If I looked as good as you Kat or Lorsha I would be making my own content. I just don't think I qualify as content material :D

this bizz is my job, i review and build, that i like facials is just personal...well now world wide news posted on this board:D, i will never be with content of myself in this bizz, this bizz and what i personal like or do are 2 different things, in real life i am an housewife, married and raising 2 kids and just building pornsites and reviewing pornsites while i am eating a peanutbutter sandwich:D

:D I still don't feel like I should be "content" per say....started as swinger and it just happened, the tits helped it along |boobies|

Actually, until the 2257 scare, visa fees and the flooding of fake amateur sites from big programs, that is exactly what the major of sologirl sites were. They were house wives and mothers finding ways to make money so they can spend more time with their kids. What they do on their site, is what they do in real life.

That is what my site is. There is a lot of things that I won't do personally and you couldn't pay me enough to do professionally. That is what the difference is from true sologirl sites with personality (indy girl sites) and the program sologirl sites.

My blog shows it. It is who I am with some sex thrown in. I know that "business" wise maybe I should post more pics and sex stories, but my members want to see who I am...they have access to rest.

I believe that i should have explained myself better, (stu<-- now thinking how the hell translate in english what she ment:D) what i ment is i am not a performer in this bizz, my job is coding, so thats why i never will be with my own content in this bizz, if i was a performer i would have answered different, thats why i said 2 different worlds for me,the personal thing and the job thing, i do believe that some woman do alot of things in this bizz which they personal dont like, but are into it because they need the money.

Kinky Dutch/Chinese milfs . . . . I do love them so |thumb

hahahaha lol i feel honerd "milf" on this moment i am more like a "filf"= fossile:D|boobies|

i have never hide for any one that i work in porn bizz, only i had to keep in mind, what i do, also get my kids and hubby involved. So i explained each and anyone who wanted to know, that i am not a performer but a coding lady, because yes when you say as a woman i am in pornbizz, they think you are behind you screen naked masturbating all day, so metioning thats "the real me" will count only for performers and i totally understand that point, but there is also an other side of pornbizz, the coding guys/girls and hell they can get in trouble when they have a fam and kids, because not all will understand the job you do and your kids will be hit by it and your hubby, but i am that person, i will never hide or lie about what i do, but i will try to explain what i do to make the people understand and that works:), i always thought this way, job and private life are 2 seperate things, after 8 years i still manage to keep it that way. Again this is my thinking, i have all the respect for all ladies and guys who are a performer in this bizz, but if you show your real you, do you still have some private stuff left in your life with your friend or spouses? or is bizz your life or your life is bizz?

Damn it!! I had a long post that I was writing and lost it.... |banghead|

I'll write it in word and see if I can remember it all.....fuck!

i saw , i got an email that you posted and i didnt saw your text, i had the same before...it sucks!

Lets try this again.....

Just a warning, sometimes my fingers don’t keep up with my thoughts and I have a bad habit of leaving words out…..

I can fully understand keeping your life separate from your biz, you have to no matter what you do. What I was referring to was my sexual nature that is shared in my site. Many of the true sologirl/couple sites will do what it in their true nature not just shot a bunch of anal because it sell yet they hate it…..

And with us starting when we lived in the Midwest, I don’t know how much know about that area, but it is major bible belt and they will pretty much burn you at the stake if found out. When the site was a hobby, we had to keep it secret, we both worked main stream jobs, our families are there…..in fact, I use to volunteer at a women’s shelter and was let go when my site was discovered by a bible thumper from the board of directors. Keep in mind that the shelter doesn’t discriminate against helping strippers and other sex performers…..I just couldn’t help them. We have lost friends due to it….so I’m fully aware of paying the price for being in front of the camera. :(

Coders/promoters can hide it so much easier, their face and other bodies parts aren’t out there and when found out….well, they weren’t making it, so it is a little better…. When you have your face out there, the risk is bigger. It is great that you are able to be upfront about it in your life, but I don’t know what your local culture is….that will play a lot into it, but I’ve always admired and enjoyed your blunt honesty through your broken English. Your posts sometimes make my day. :D

On our move to Oregon, we stopped at the Grand Canyon and I had a fan come up to me. I had a member come up to me in wally world in Florida, after I got off work from my mainstream job…just a block away….icks.

But you are coder/promoter….you may be disrespected by mainstream but performers are treated a bit lower. Many of us are treated as trash…..just like a streetwalker by their druggy pimp by mainstreamers and actually worst by some of the promoters. They love promoting sex, but if you do it in front of the camera you are a mindless moron. I’ve had several coders/promoters treat me like that when I know for a fact that I have more education and I am much smarter than those asses….the difference is they don’t have principles and I do….many of them almost got bitched slap…|catfight|…I’m have a very hot temper when pissed off…….|jester|

But my blog is pretty much who I am. I share the death of my pets, my political views/outrages, family issues (not to detailed, for obvious reasons), my mainstream jobs (no company names) when I’m stressed, down and out…..there isn’t too much that I don’t share. It was started just for my members to get to know me and now it is my release. Hell, Torn knows how I feel he doesn’t want to hear me tell him something that he already knows….so my blog lets it out.

My parents know that we are in adult, not the full extent such as my site….but they probably have an idea. But they don’t question it; just ask how our business is doing. The main reason why I don’t fully let my dad know is because I’m daddy’s girl, my sister is a fuck up and if he actually knew I believe he would be more pissed off to what he sees is the waste of my college education. Thinking that I could do so much better with my career choice.

But as I get older, I currently don’t work mainstream and the local culture here in Portland, Or, I feel safe to be able to discuss my “porn” knowledge. It is hard as hell not to share my knowledge when mainstream folks are discussing internet and porn and they are clueless……:D, so our location as helped.

But my business is my life, we have 12 cams in our house, hard for it not to be……and I suck at acting and faking who I am, we have chosen not to have kids so not to restrict who we are, we have known several couples that have almost lost their kids due to their sites. :(

hahaha lol i do understand you totally girl, you have your own paysite and you wanna give the truth to you surfers, i totally i agree with that, but now the difference, what if you had underage kids.....you deal with them at school...school will ask questions, what is the job of your mom or dad? I tell my kids ...just tell them truth, i make websites...if they ask what kind of websites, say adult...and realy thats all they know....i have a hubby with a very good paid job in a totally differend thing, i can hurt his job with my job, this adult bizz is totally different if you are both in this world without kids, you can do all what you want, but having a hubby in an other job and kids, this bizz is a totally different issue.
To be real if girls like you didnt make their own payite, coders like me wont have a job, but dont say its easier for coders, you can say that if your both (with friend or spouses and without kids )are in this bizz. Even there where months i made more money then my hubby, i would never hurt his job issue, reasen why, he is certain of his job, even in bad times he will get the same amound paid every month, for me, i depend on the sponsors and my bosses...totally differend.
Oh and Kat believe me i have all the respect for you and i think you are a hot woman! i just know about certain things because my grandma was a hooker and a webcam...na girl i wont say, but very very old granny will fit better:D and some friends are adult performers too...........dont ask (and mainstream, they wont pay to dutchies so i dont do mainstream)
Oke so your life is your bizz, no problem with me, i think what i wanted to show.....is that people who are hanging on this board are all different, even we work in the same bizz, you are a performer and this bizz is your life, for me, i am a coder and depending on sponsors and girls like you having their own paysite to promoot to get paid, so for me its not my life..........and i think most webmasters and webmistresses are like this way on this board........gawd i have to get to the point,
i think i was trying to proofe, that the people who hang on this board are not all performers but most are coders/promoters, which explains why there where more webmaster ladies who like facials then content ladies, there are just not enough content performers on this board;)

you are an grown up, why just dont tell all?
I dont fucking care what my fam or friends think, they dont have to pay my bills, i cant think of anyone in my neighbourhood who dont know what i am doing, i think most important is....you explain all, dont lett them guess what is going on, explain the way you think ....it will work out

See that is where I think our 2 cultures differ, is in the children area. Here in the US, unless you have a lot of money, and if schools find out that you are in porn, they call CPS (children protective services) and usually take your kids. Then you have to fight to get them back. Prove that your kids are not in the same room as your work...it is hell. Then if the parents are divorced and one is an ass....we have seen it fuck them over so bad.

Then if you are doing it out of your own house, they will get zoning codes in to shut you down and run you out. It is really like the Salem witch trials of the 1600s

I'm not sure of how your local culture handles it and views it. I know that porn is normally looked down on no matter where you go, but I don't know how strict the attitudes are.

So what you tell them, is that you are a stay at home mom. You give very general answers....website admin...contractor.....never anything that they can pin you down with. Which really sucks, because I was brought up to be honest and frank, pretty much like you handle it. Boy it is hard, because I SUCK at lying....|jester|

You also have an insight into the life of a sex worker that many of other promoters/coders do not have, which really helps with how you handle things and your attitude.

There is no way we would have kids, for one we are too selfish, and what parents face while being in porn here in the US. I have seen many parents handle it and I won't want to do what they do.

After I quit my last job before we moved, a former disgruntled employee called in anonymously about my site....I worked for a big company that is very bible based....oh shit, it was a good thing that I was no longer with them. I would've been fired and in the papers. But my bosses directly over me, backed me up and called that former employee out. But I would never be able to work for them again if they opened a location out here.

Until we moved to Oregon, I have been working mainstream as a business manager for last 12yrs and we have been online since 2000. So my site was definitely a risk to all of my jobs and my volunteer work. Torn quit his job years ago but he quit caring about the effect on him years ago, more concerned about the effect of it on me.

The difference between mayonnaise and cum is that mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of your throat at 30 m.p.h.

You know your sex partner is fertile when you have to chew before you swallow....:D

Toni thanks for your long posts. I now want to write a feature for FTG about independent solo women :) I'll PM you.

I have a great deal of respect for the women who put themselves out there as content. It's a big decision and one that is life-changing - definitely deserving of respect :)

I'm always trying to decide who to tell when it comes to my job. It's a fine line to walk. My husband made the mistake of telling our neighbour and then we ended up in a sort of neighbour war over her pets. So she's got that over me now. At the same time, I enjoy telling people, I like seeing the shock... and then they're intrigued.

I almost always start by saying: "I run an adult website... but it's not me in the pics." Mainly because I can see them looking at me thinking "No way is she good looking enough to be in porn." LOL

Thanks.

It took me a bit to come to terms with expressing my sexuality where everyone could see. And to balance it with my feminism, because most feminism doesn't agree with porn and sex work. It didn't help that I just got my degree and had the ideal that I was going to get into politics...the idealism of the time...lol

Boy, I know folks who have been run out their homes and towns due to having a site....it is messed up.

i think that is an important part too, here in holland, all about porn is normal, you can buy dildo's just at the music dvd stores, porn magazines you can buy at every shop. Strange is that most Dutchies think that all in the USA and other big countries is allowed when they think about porn, which isnt true, seems that porn bizz is still a big taboe in the bigs countries. Here in holland porn bizz is no taboo, but then nothing is taboo here.

I empathize deeply with this.

My (2nd) wife and I ended up not having kids for similar reasons, altho it was very painful to process that decision all out.

We are both so sensitive and different from ordinary folks that if we had children, we fear they would be used against us by other people.

I get so angry that people can get into so much trouble for doing porn out of their homes. I know their is nothing I can do to change it and I wish there was. I have a lot of respect for you and what you do.

The fact that you don't have kids I also respect. I worked on the foster care side of CPS and you are right, they will take your kids. No matter how good you may be as a parent. They seem to think if your doing porn from your home you are involving them somehow |angry|

Like I posted before I don't think I'm content material :D But have thought of doing something similar as you do. But now my grandkids are growing up here so wouldn't even consider it.

Oh and Kat I have the boobs also, not as big as yours but big, and I even squirt ( i could make millions..LOL)but wouldn't have the guts to put it out like you do.

Thanks for the great post |thumb

Grandma! I just got your email and had to come here and find/read Toni's post(s) and high five her.

As far as facials go, I can see the appeal on many levels for facials, but like you I'm annoyed by how ubiquitous they've become in porn; it's like it's impossible to find a cumshot anywhere else.

When I'm watching porn I do personally enjoy seeing a cumshot splattered just about anywhere (again, I'd prefer more variety instead of every scene ending in a facial). As far as receiving facials, I don't know if I'd ever have done it if not for being in porn and wanting to provide that for my members' enjoyment, but now that I've done it I can understand the hotness of getting one: it's exciting to be able to watch it happen and feel it on your skin at the same time. Of course, you can feel it on your tits or belly and watch it at the same time, too, so I don't think it would ever be something I'd prefer outside of content production unless, of course, there's a hot roleplay going on.

I know if I had a cock I would want to cum on someone's face and engage in some taboo roleplays, too. Again, I think the degradation is way overplayed in porn and there's not enough variety; the overload (ha) of it is what bothers me more than the concept itself.

If someone would have asked me this question when I was 23 or younger I'd have had a totally different response / would have felt like crying at the thought of it - back in those days (early/mid 90s) it wasn't something you saw everywhere, every day. I don't know how much of my attitude change is desensitization, maturing, having more experience, getting to know my customers personally / doing phone sex, etc., feeling more powerful / less threatened by men, or what.

One thing that annoys me is how few light femdom sites there are featuring women smearing their pussy juices all over guys' faces; there's such a huge market for that yet everyone is so focused on CHICK'S getting facials. That kind of imbalance is part of what annoys me about facials in porn. And yeah, the training kids are getting to do stuff like this and consider it par for the course.

Thanks for all the kind words.

I guess my main purpose to all this was to put a "human" face to the content folks and share what they go thru. With this board being promoters, a lot of that is lost and not thought of.

But the folks on this board is much more open to seeing the other side then others, which is why is it is pretty much the only public board I surf and post to, even if I don't post much.

Just wanted to add my thanks, Toni, for the frank detailed posts. I have a lot of respect, and even admiration for some of the performers (you and Lorsha would be prime examples). You both come across as strong, smart and independent women - and I bring and a few others (Sabrina Deep too) as examples whenever the so-called-feminist anti-porn arguments come up. You are breaking new cultural grounds, in many ways, and I hope that you know that many women are actually enjoying more sexual freedom of expression thanks to your efforts!

I hope for Americans that the standards in the US are changing. I won't say every single Israeli is ok with porn, but so far, I don't think I met one single family member or friend who had any problems with me publishing porn sites. I think pretty much everyone knows. Well, maybe not my grandfathers (it never came up in conversation!) but my parents, brothers, in-laws, everyone knows. Friends too, parents of other school kids. If the topic came up, I answered and never hid anything. People were curious mainly about the business model (same as they are about mainstream) and that was it, basically.

It’s interesting to here the reality of what it is like to be a performer in this business from actual perfomers and to hear stories of people being run out of their homes and towns does remind one of the salem witch trials. If people don’t understand your life or why you choice to do things then its seems they may just react negatively to something they don’t understand.

I would imagine one could become a little hardened after being a perfomer and I don’t mean the kind of hardening you get in your pants from time to time.

But at the end of the day, somebody has to make the decision to get in front of the camera and perform, or else their would be no content to look at, no websites to promote, etc, etc.
I’m glad plenty of perfomers keep making the decision to get in front of the camera as a world without porn, naked women, and porn stars would be a pretty dull world.

As for facials it’s probably just a sign of the industry evolving and catering to what people want to see . I’m sure their probably is more types of content available today
that wasn’t even around say 10 years ago, like squirting, big cock sites, midget porn, milf sites, etc.