| Simon |
2007-06-21 09:05 AM |
Why I haven't been around here much
For the last three months I haven't been around here as much as usual. I've posted here mentioning that I've been taking care of a 'sick friend' but there really was a bit more to it than that.
Actually the sick friend was my ex. We'd been together for over 10 years, and then apart for about a year, while staying in touch and seeing each other regularly. Besides being my domestic partner, she was also involved in our online work. She was Mistress Strict, partner to my Master Stern in our bdsm/fetish projects, and she worked as editrix for some of our sex story sites.
Back in March of this year she asked me if I'd give her a ride down to Key West. Her doctor wanted her to come in for some tests. And while she would've been able to drive down by herself, she'd been advised that she'd need someone to drive her home. So of course I agreed to take her down to the hospital that morning.
The day didn't go exactly as we thought it would. The tests, which included a biopsy of her liver, went okay. But the doctors decided to admit her to the hospital that day because her belly and legs were very swollen. They wound up keeping her in the hospital about 10 days, during which time they ran more tests. The ammonia level in her blood went up to a dangerous level and she was on the edge of a hepatic comma for a few days. Eventually they were able to stabilize her blood chemistry so she could be discharged from the hospital.
Her diagnosis was end stage liver cancer, brought on by exposure to river parasites during the time she'd worked in South America some years ago. The prognosis wasn't good, with the doctors saying she had somewhere between 3 and 6 months to live. She'd been living alone, which was no longer a good idea, so I moved her into my house again where I could take care of her.
The next three months were some of the toughest times I've ever had to handle. Providing round-the-clock care for someone who's dying is definitely hard work, and when it's someone you love, then watching as their condition continues to worsen can be pretty rough. I arranged things so she could enjoy her days as much as possible, and we had some good times during those final months.
But eventually the doctors were correct in their prognosis, and she passed away, peacefully, on Tuesday morning. Right now I'm handling the final arrangements of her passing. It'll probably take me another week or so to tie up a variety of loose ends so I can put some of this behind me.
I'm making this post to let you folks know why I've been mostly missing for a few months, and to say I apologize if I haven't been as responsive as usual to PMs, IMs and emails at times. Most days there just wasn't enough time to spend any of it working, and on days where there was more time, I usually just didn't have my head on straight enough to get much done.
I also want to say thank you to those who've reached out to me over these months, and to apologize for dropping out of contact the last few weeks. Truthfully, I don't know how long it's going to take for me to be back to 'business as usual' because losing her is hitting pretty hard. She was a very special woman, and everyone who knew her is saddened by her passing. Personally, I don't expect to ever forget her, or to ever stop wishing she was still here.
Simon
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