God likes chumps
 

I woke up this morning at about 2:30 and couldn't get back to sleep, so I wandered into the office where the TV was still on with the sound really low. Some televangelist was on, Robert Tilton I think. I didn't pay any attention to him until he started speaking in tongues. Never heard that before, especially on tv, so it got my attention.

He talks about the usual stuff those guys talk about. Then, he introduces a touching story about some guy and his wife that were going broke, about to get divorced, and just generally hating life, until they sent some money to this dude, whereupon their life immediately turned around. Now they're just happy as clams.

Now this gem of a human being tells his faithfull flock that if they send in a "vow of faith", then they too can have happiness, joy, and most importantly, cash. He's telling people that if they're down on their luck, lost their jobs, whatever, send in $1000, and god will see it and send good things their way.

So I thought |angry| , then |raygun| , and finally |lightsabe

Then I went back to bed and dreamed of a swimming pool filled with televangelists and me standing on the side with a hair drier.

That would be great. |bananna| |roses| |bananna|

I think they would have a common response "God told me to give you (insert amount) not to do this son" |jester|

Imagine me laughing so hard I pee in my pants when I take the money, unplug the hair drier, and lightning strikes the pool. |bananna|

|haha |satan| |haha

You can send me all of your money and find comfort knowing how much better my life is spending someone else’s money. :D

The sad part is that they get the air time :(

Using the money the suckers send them |sad|

A truly vicious cycle |assfuck|

At least when they are stealing peoples money they aren't burning scientists and witches at the stake.

Several years ago, I came home to find a note, a small pipe packed with fragrant herbs, and a video tape sitting on top of the tv. The note said "You must do these things. Smoke this. Then watch this."
This is a small portion of what was on the video. It's one of the funniest things ever. I'll leave it up as long as the bandwidth doesn't get crazy. You must watch this.
Tilton video fun

thrillho -
Spilled my beer, choked on my cigarette, but laughed my ass off through 5 replays!!!
Great stuff!!

I worship |buddy| - all he asks for is $17.95 up front & he's good for the rest of your life :D

|jester| Great video. He really is filled with something. Most likely beans and frijoles.

Personally, I'm a dyslexic atheist.

I don't believe in DOG.

Jebus must be rolling over in his grave

|jester|