[Useless]

Hire me.

I'd expect pay commensurate with my skills. In other words, I'm cheap.

I really want a company car, preferably one with a popular brewery decal on each side.

Something with extensive European travel would be great. There was a point at which I could speak German at the Kindergarten or first grade level, but now I'm more along the lines of a toddler, just learning to toddle. Ich habe eine Panne. Bitte mir ein Schleppwagen anrufen!