[Useless]

There was time that waterbeds were sexy to have. I blame Hugh Heffner. When I was 25, I had a king size waterbed in a studio apartment. Between the bed and my infant daughter's crib, there was about 10 square feet of floor space available. It was just me, her, and a very angry iguana living there, so it wasn't a big deal. Anyway, I could never fuck very well on a water mattress. Truth be told, I don't fuck well on anything, but the waterbed makes it that much harder. I just can't get a reliable stance on one of those things.