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Originally Posted by Useless Warrior
Years ago, a buddy called me up all panicked, begging me to come to his apartment. I get there and he confides in me that he just go crabs from his girlfriend. Well duh! That wench was more of a slut than my sister. What did he expect? So anyway, I asked him why the hell I needed to know this. His reply: "you seem like the kind of guy who would have dealt with this sort of thing before". What the fuck does that mean?...
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You sure you didn't mean to post:
Years ago, 
called me up all panicked...