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Old 2005-08-10, 04:32 PM   #3
Bill
Selling porn allows me to stay in a constant state of Bliss - ain't that a trip!
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,914
The writing is a little bland, compared to your usual output - but that is kind of what you are going for.

I think you could bitesize it more - shorter paragraphs, punchier writing, less exposition.

Just make sure you put some major snappy bitesize wordbytes at the beginning of each entry, would be my suggestion.
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