Okay, I fixed that problem.
As usual, Chris provided the necessary clue. He suggested a test htaccess with a simple errordocument rule. I tried this, and realized that the server was not parsing htaccess commands at all.
So, I write host support and ask about the htaccess settings. At first they want to check the wordpress documentation, and I tell them about the errordocument test I had tried.
They check, and come back and tell me the settings were munged and allowoverride hadn't been working.
So, a simple letter to the host and the problem was fixed. I was so focused on assuming that I must be doing something simple and obvious wrong that I didn't check another obvious issue - is the host, perhaps, doing something wrong.
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