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Old 2005-09-16, 12:34 AM   #2
MrYum
Arghhhh...submit yer sites ya ruddy swabs!
 
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: Sunny Florida!
Posts: 5,108
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Hey CalModels

Nicely done...especially for a first pass

A few comments;

This is probably more of a personal thing and some lists won't have a problem with it. But, using the phrase 'so out of it' could be deemed to imply a lack of consent on the girls part. You could easily say 'having so much fun, they don't care' or something along those lines. Just something to consider...

You might want to send your exit link to something that makes you a few cents like warning pages. Or, some folks throw up a small mainstream page selling ringtones or the like. Non adult of course.

Don't be afraid to wrap a line of enticing text or two around your banners. Warm the surfer up a bit...stroke em

The very small blue links on that black background are pretty much invisible. I realize those are webmaster links...which are really not necessary on free sites. Many lists will will count those as one of your 3 sponsor links...which would give you 4 sponsor links on your main and gallery pages. I'd lose em...especially since they're so closely tucked under your banners. You're going to end up sending surfers to your sponsors affiliate program that way.

Something's wrong with the encoding on your vids...in firefox, all I get is a garbled screen.

Damn, your source code is looong...lots of white space...takes a few scrolls to get to the bottom! That's a little mini reviewer rant right there for ya...lol.

On the UP side...very clean layout. Your text is pretty good. Dont' be afraid to utilize that talent and add a bit more text...again, stroke the surfer a bit...they like foreplay

The only other issue I see is that my recip isn't on it

All in all...a very good first shot bud...ya did good!

A little tweaking...and...I'd list it!
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