[cd34]

gotta love microsoft..... actual transcript

Enter from stage left, our spotlight shines on the narrator: Installing w2k3 enterprise for a project, activation procedure via net fails -- windows cannot find the Intel Ethernet Card in the server, system advises to call by phone:

After wading through numerous prompts, I am given an activation code. After checking, double checking and triple checking the numbers and still no go, the system says it will transfer me to a 'service operator'

Hello microsoft, how can I help?

I'm having problems installing w2k3 enterprise -- your telephone procedure says that the number is invalid.

"Ok, what is the 36 digit code at the top of the screen?"

I read the digits, he hands me a 36 digit code in response -- which also fails. Bear in mind, as you type each group of 6 numbers, the cursor is sent to the 'next' button, so you have to click back up in the prompt for the next 6.

"I am sorry sir, I don't know why it isn't working. Lets try again"

Reread 36 digit code, get another 36 digit code, confirm that the code is identical.

"I am sorry sir, it should be working. My call timer is at 14 minutes, I'm going to go ahead and close this ticket and advise that you call back. Thank you for your time and have a wonderful day." click.

So I call back, pretty much the same response, although they offer to transfer me to fee-support since they cannot fix it. Keep in mind, this software is $2900 for a single machine. Ok, I'll pay $295 to get it installed, I take the number and call it. While he is generating a service ticket, he says, I'm sorry sir, it is my break time, if you call back, someone will open a ticket for you. However, he had handed me fee-support's phone number.

I call Fee Support, talk to them, they say, "What credit card will you be charging this to?" I tell them that I purchased the software, I am trying to install it, I was referred to this number, but, the guy was going on break and hadn't opened the ticket. She seems sympathetic, starts the process of opening a ticket. Long silence... hello, hello? dial tone.

I call back, the ticket was partially opened, but, there is a ticket and a 'revenue release tag' on it -- which means I can get installation help for free.

Her advice, you know, it might be quicker just to reinstall the software and call us back if you cannot get the online procedure to work.

I said, that is why I am calling.

"what kind of network card are you using?"

'The machine has two, Intel EEPro 1000 and a Broadcom/Intel 1000/GE card (built into the motherboard)'

"Yeah, we don't support Intel cards without their drivers. Have you tried reinstalling to see if the cards are recognized?"

I said, give me the case number so I can call back after reinstalling.

"Oh I'm sorry sir, we're not allowed to give you that number. You'll need to open a separate incident if you don't have the ticket number. If you are reinstalling, I'm going to go ahead and close the ticket. Thank you for calling Microsoft and you have a good day". Click.

'wait.. argh'

No, I wasn't using a mobile phone.. it was a hardline phone.

I can only imagine what Volkswagens will be like with the new WinEmb code.