Linkster, here is what I was searching for:
penis doctors remove
I was writing about guys who stick stupid things in or on their penises, so I wanted to find stories about doctors removing stuff from dicks.
Ideally, I wanted it in the context of a headline: "Doctors remove wedding ring from man's penis"
Yes, I know you're laughing now
Anyway, thanks to the synonyms thing, I kept getting stuff about circumcision, medical journals, all sorts of stuff.
I don't know if Google geo-targets synonym searches but I don't know why they would.
And yes, everyone is right. Google has sucked for quite some time... but I think it's reached the frustration stage where people are gonna look elsewhere.