I am glad that you brought this up. I have the same problem too, i send off hits to start the trade and 9/10 times get nothing back.
Some of them i contact by ICQ or email and usually get about 1/30 to reply.
This should be like any other business where relationships are important and proffesionalism should prevail. When someone signs up to my sites and i don't want to trade with them, i try to let them know, maybe they will have another site that will trade good.
You never know what lies in the future, a great example is that when i first started work i had a boss that i got on well with, some years later and in a different country i ended up being his boss - in other words don't burn bridges and always try to be proffessional.
My wife is calling me to go to sleep so i have to cut this off at this point! - And I don't want to piss her off.
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