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2) You could try something like phpadsnew to serve your own ads (it's free). You might also search for some CMS options out there. I know there are some good plug ins available for them. It might take some time finding exactly what you are looking for. I've tried adbrite (and looked at a few others) myself and they just don't have enough adult advertisers right now to make anything relevant or profitable.
3) You will most likely need to be on a dedicated server to make any use of something like Putty. It is fairly simple to use if you are familiar with a non wysiwyg environment. Your hosting company should be able to fill in the blanks for you on that one.
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