shut up and hike the fucking ball!
then pack the bong, that's the only sport you didn't dissect with factoids that don't mean 3 shits in a shoebox to anyone.
However, the definition of "real sports" is entirely open to interpretation by the individual. Whereas you interpret your variation of the game one way, that's wonderful, swell, nifty and all that jazz, however, remember one thing...
In 1814 we took a little trip
Along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip.
We took a little bacon and we took a little beans
And we caught the bloody British in the town of New Orleans.
We fired our guns and the British kept a'comin.
There wasn't nigh as many as there was a while ago.
We fired once more and they began to runnin' on
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
so put that in my pipe and I'll smoke it.