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for link trades, usually they will email you, or if you have a trade script, they will fill that out..and you check back on the link from time to time to make sure it's permenant...
trying to get your content is another matter, are you meaning hotlinking your pics or movies...if you look at your server stats you will be able to see your reffers..there will always be some that you didn't submit to, that copy the other lists..but if you see ones using alot of hits/pulls from you..then follow it back and see what the place is and if they are hotlinking...usually a simple .htaccess in your content directory keeps that from happening and still allows you and your surfers access...
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