[tadpole]

These might lighten up someones day!

1. A man comes into the ER and yells. . .....
> 'My wife's going to have her baby in the cab.'
> I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress and
> began To take off her underwear.
> Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs - - - and I was in the
> wrong One.
>
> Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald,
> San Francisco
>
>
> 2.... At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an
> elderly and Slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall.
> 'Big breaths,'. . . I instructed. 'Yes, they used to be,'. . . Replied
> the Patient.
> Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes,
> Seattle , WA
>
> 3.. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that
> her Husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.
> Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of
> the Family that he had died of a 'massive internal fart.'
>
> Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg
>
> 4. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How
> long Have you been bedridden?'
> After a look of complete confusion she answered . . . ' Why, not for
> about Twenty years - when my husband was alive.'
>
> Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson-
> Corvallis , OR
>
> 5. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with
> purple Hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of
> tattoos, and Wearing strange clothing, entered..... It was quickly
> determined that the Patient had acute appendicitis, so she was
> scheduled for immediate Surgery... When she was completely disrobed on
> the operating table, the Staff noticed that her pubic hair had been
> dyed green and above it there was A tattoo that read . .. .' Keep off
> the grass.'
>
> Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the
> Patient's' dressing, which said 'Sorry . . . Had to mow the lawn.'
>
> Submitted by RN no name,
>

>
> Baby's First Doctor Visit
>
> This made me laugh out loud.
> I hope it will give you a smile!
>
>
> A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for
> the Doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived,
> and Examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little
> concerned, asked If the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.
>
> 'Breast-fed,' she replied...
>
> 'Well, strip down to your waist,' the doctor ordered.
> She did. He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both
> breasts For a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
>
> Motioning to her to get dressed, the doctor said, 'No wonder this baby
> is Underweight. You don't have any milk.'
>
> 'I know,' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came.'
>