[Pagan]

Go on, make me miss the days when I lived out in rural Texas and could just call the local volunteer fire department and let them know I was burning shit.

There are days you know you are going to be useless.. About a week ago, I got a message from an undiscovered cousin on Facebook who had a good deal of info on the two uncles that disappeared in 1938. My mom never knew what happened to them. Well, now I have been explaining to her about Stalin's purge of Finns. Her first question to me? Why were they arrested? On what charges? So I explained it to her again carefully -- that they were arrested simply because they were Finns. Stalin didn't like them anymore so it was time to say goodbye to them. Both uncles had accepted job offers in a ski factory that offered nice perks like housing and upgraded shopping. One left from Canada, the other from the US. The chilling part to me is when my mom said her father had also been thinking of accepting that job offer, but changed his mind.

So then, today I get the pictures from my brother's burial in Omaha and a couple of pictures of him in happier times. Why is it when you look at pictures of a US military funeral and see the lone bugler you can hear Taps? I am just a jumble of emotions right now.

Take me away to the nice, safe fantasy world of porn... I think I will hide there for a while.