Thought I was at an Amway convention

Fisty Palmer · 2003-08-27, 01:46 AM

Although relatively new here, I am relieved the sky hasn't fallen and GG&J are back online.

Last night when I tried to read the posts, the sudden vacuum of a non-existent forum sent me into a panic. It was almost as frightening as an Amway seminar I once attended. Now there's something that's truly scary!

Years ago an ex-girfriend dragged me to one of those meetings. I think I left skid marks all the way there.

I remember my ex attended functions for about a month (insisted I go), and they wanted us to pass out cassette tapes to our friends, as well as these vertical shaped boxes full of products. I think they called them I-paks. Probably short for idiot paks.

The meetings were frightening gatherings of young, right-wing conservatives who almost broke out into fits of teeth-gritting, eyeball-popping ecstasy whenever someone mentioned the phrase "the plan," and they'd all stand and clap like trained circus monkeys whenever it was revealed someone had "gone diamond."

I never understood what was going on, other than when it was all done we'd leave the auditorium like programmed robots, obediently mumbling "tapes, books, rallies....tapes, books, rallies....tapes, books, rallies."

I think it was at one of the longer seminars that I first entertained notions of pouring gasoline over my head and setting myself on fire.

Amway...the scariest 5 letter word I ever heard.

What does any of this have to do with porn? Well, the next time your adult biz is teetering on the rocks, you can say to yourself: "Gee, it could be worse. I could be a fucking Amway salesman."

Surfn · 2003-08-27, 06:44 AM

What a horror story

so now do you drag her kicking and screaming to porn conventions? |rasta|

loki · 2003-08-27, 10:50 AM

I went to a huge Amway convention in Cleveland - it was great, like a rock concert. The speakers whipped the crowd into a frenzy like it was the Nuremberg rallies.

I was thinking "This is the greatest thing in the world.....for the guys at the top."

Couldn't see any point in being a bottom feeder in that food chain so I went home and never went back.

Fisty Palmer · 2003-08-27, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Surfn
What a horror story so now do you drag her kicking and screaming to porn conventions? |rasta|

No, she left me after I decided to explore the lucrative field of beer drinking and gum-wad removal. I guess my career ambitions were simply too cutting-edge for her.

2003-08-27, 01:46 AM	#1
Fisty Palmer Lord help me, I'm just not that bright Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: The Left Coast Posts: 104	Thought I was at an Amway convention Although relatively new here, I am relieved the sky hasn't fallen and GG&J are back online. Last night when I tried to read the posts, the sudden vacuum of a non-existent forum sent me into a panic. It was almost as frightening as an Amway seminar I once attended. Now there's something that's truly scary! Years ago an ex-girfriend dragged me to one of those meetings. I think I left skid marks all the way there. I remember my ex attended functions for about a month (insisted I go), and they wanted us to pass out cassette tapes to our friends, as well as these vertical shaped boxes full of products. I think they called them I-paks. Probably short for idiot paks. The meetings were frightening gatherings of young, right-wing conservatives who almost broke out into fits of teeth-gritting, eyeball-popping ecstasy whenever someone mentioned the phrase "the plan," and they'd all stand and clap like trained circus monkeys whenever it was revealed someone had "gone diamond." I never understood what was going on, other than when it was all done we'd leave the auditorium like programmed robots, obediently mumbling "tapes, books, rallies....tapes, books, rallies....tapes, books, rallies." I think it was at one of the longer seminars that I first entertained notions of pouring gasoline over my head and setting myself on fire. Amway...the scariest 5 letter word I ever heard. What does any of this have to do with porn? Well, the next time your adult biz is teetering on the rocks, you can say to yourself: "Gee, it could be worse. I could be a fucking Amway salesman." Last edited by Fisty Palmer; 2003-08-27 at 01:54 PM..

2003-08-27, 06:44 AM	#2
Surfn If you don’t take a chance the Angels won’t dance Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Earth on occasion Posts: 8,812	What a horror story so now do you drag her kicking and screaming to porn conventions? \|rasta\| __________________ Surfn's Links Are you a partner?

2003-08-27, 10:50 AM	#3
loki Internet! Is that thing still around? Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 9	I went to a huge Amway convention in Cleveland - it was great, like a rock concert. The speakers whipped the crowd into a frenzy like it was the Nuremberg rallies. I was thinking "This is the greatest thing in the world.....for the guys at the top." Couldn't see any point in being a bottom feeder in that food chain so I went home and never went back.