Don't smoke crack and go swimming with alligators

[Cleo]

Damn people do dumb shit…

From http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/16133633.htm
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The 911 call can be heard here

911 call records naked man's epic fight with gator
By TRAVIS REED
Associated Press Writer

The dispatcher advises the man in the gator's clutches -- who was naked and high on crack cocaine -- to punch the 12-foot alligator in the snout.

''Too big!'' the man, Adrian J. Apgar, can be heard hollering in the background of the 911 call.

''Help's on the way, bro!'' a bystander yells to the man being mangled by the reptile.

And indeed, the man would be rescued by Polk County sheriff's deputies, although not before suffering grave injuries in the encounter.

Adrian J. Apgar was taken to the hospital in critical condition with an apparent broken right arm, leg injuries and his left arm hanging by a tendon.

The three-way exchanges are preserved on a surreal 911 call between a man who called police to report distant screams in the middle of the night. The man stayed on the line as he approached where the screams originated -- a lake in Polk County.

As it became clear what was happening, the dispatcher advised the caller on how the man in the lake might fend off the gator. The caller yelled these instructions to the man in the lake. The man in the lake yelled back that the instructions weren't working. The caller related this to the dispatcher.

The deputies, who got the summons about 4 a.m. Wednesday and arrived soon after, said they could not shoot the animal because it was too dark and they might have hit the victim or one another, the sheriff's office said.

''It is an incredibly bacteria-filled environment that he was exposed to,'' Judd said.

It was not clear why Apgar was in the lake.

The deputies -- Michael Parker, Billy Osborne, David Clements and Sgt. Andrew Williams -- carried Apgar about 40 feet, up a steep incline and to an ambulance ashore. None of the four was injured in the gator-infested waters.

''I remember him saying, 'I'm over here, get here quick, he's still got me, he's going to kill me, my arms are broken,''' Parker said.

The deputies' boots sunk in mud with each step they took, and the water lapped chest-high on some. It took several efforts to get the 6-foot-1, 250-pound man out of the water even after the gator let loose because they were exhausted. They had to find the man by sound, through thick brush and cattails in the middle of the night.

At various points, one or two of the deputies were standing by, weapons pulled, on the lookout for other gators. Apgar told them he felt at least one more in the water.

''I was holding my shotgun. It's kind of hard to walk through that with a flashlight and a shotgun,'' Parker said.

Osborne said he was pulled Apgar's arms while the gator gripped his lower half. The reptile loosened his jaws and Osborne thought he was free, but the animal lunged again.

The deputies said they were scared, but didn't have time to think.

''It was a human being, he was dying. He needed help,'' Osborne said. ``I knew my partners were behind me. They were watching; I wasn't too afraid another gator was going to get me.''

The alligator believed to have bitten the man was caught at about 1 p.m., roughly seven hours after Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission trappers set out bait. Though there's no way to be certain it's the right one, the animal caught was aggressive and found near the attack site.

'I said, `Well how big did you think the alligator was?' [The deputies] said 'about the size of a school bus,' '' Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said.

It took 15-20 minutes to pull Apgar to shore from the moment they arrived on scene, the deputies estimated.

Damn with one broken arm and one arm almost ripped off how is he going to be able to smoke crack? I wonder if the alligator wants more crack?

[SirMoby]

I guess the only way I'd swim with alligators is if I was on crack.

[Cleo]

Earlier this year a woman stoned on Xanax was eaten by an alligator.

I wonder if stoned humans are an easy target or if the gators just want to get stoned?

[MeatPounder]

Originally Posted by Cleo

Earlier this year a woman stoned on Xanax was eaten by an alligator.

I wonder if stoned humans are an easy target or if the gators just want to get stoned?

I'm sure you have heard the saying

You are what you eat!

[spacemanspiff]

Crap!!!. Now I'm going to have to find something else to do today.

[Jim]

I saw that last night. I get, getting naked while smoking crack but damn...stay away from alligators

Crack heads have enough problems with broken stems, stores looking at them funny when they buy Chore Boy, burned fingers, cut fingers when your stem breaks while trying to scrape it, callouses on your thumb from the lighter and not even mentioning the burning of your nose and eyebrows once your stem becomes too short Who the hell needs an alligator in the mix?

[sue-fl]

Originally Posted by Cleo

Earlier this year a woman stoned on Xanax was eaten by an alligator.

I wonder if stoned humans are an easy target or if the gators just want to get stoned?

Damn Cleo choked on my tea on that one.

[Cleo]

Originally Posted by Jim

Crack heads have enough problems with broken stems, stores looking at them funny when they buy Chore Boy, burned fingers, cut fingers when your stem breaks while trying to scrape it, callouses on your thumb from the lighter and not even mentioning the burning of your nose and eyebrows once your stem becomes too short

Stems and Chore Boy is for amateurs.

Personally I always loved it when a girl's fake fingernails catch on fire from the blowtorch.

[digifan]

Originally Posted by Cleo

Earlier this year a woman stoned on Xanax was eaten by an alligator.

I wonder if stoned humans are an easy target or if the gators just want to get stoned?

How can someone get stoned on Xanax? Crazy stories...