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Old 2005-11-23, 10:29 AM   #1
Toby
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New Element Discovered in the Wake of Katrina and Rita

WASHINGTON (AP) - A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical yet known to science. This new element has been tentatively named "Governmentium."

Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

A tiny amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of four years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypocritical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass."

You will know it when you see it. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has half as many peons, but twice as many morons.
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Old 2005-11-23, 10:31 AM   #2
emmanuelle
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One small step for man....
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Old 2005-11-23, 11:53 AM   #3
MrYum
Arghhhh...submit yer sites ya ruddy swabs!
 
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That's great!

Sad part is...it's TRUE!
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Old 2005-11-23, 12:13 PM   #4
spazlabz
You can now put whatever you want in this space :)
 
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hahaha thats great, i had to read that aloud to the wife, thanks for posting it

Jim
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Old 2005-11-23, 12:53 PM   #5
SirMoby
Jim? I heard he's a dirty pornographer.
 
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What's scary is at the center of all this is a man that is allowed to send Americans to thier death so that he and his buds make billions of dollars.
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Old 2005-11-23, 01:11 PM   #6
digifan
...and since we know an end will come it makes our living so much fun
 
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That was funny Toby
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Old 2005-11-23, 04:32 PM   #7
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that's great
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Old 2005-11-23, 04:52 PM   #8
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Muwahahaha
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Old 2005-11-24, 05:12 AM   #9
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I loved that ...at first I was like..hmm what's this new element LOL
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