Gmail invite - who wants it?

[digifan]

A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?" she asked.
"Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked.
"Yes I do." she replied.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"
"Yes I remember."
"Do you remember your father when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said.'Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail'?"
"Yes I do", she replied.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, " You know I would have gotten out today."

<b>My fave one</b>

A guy is hanging out in his favorite bar when he spots a fabulous babe walking in on the arm of some ugly schlep. He asks the bartender about her and is surprised to discover that she's a prostitute. He watches her the rest of the night, amazed that someone so attractive could be available to him.
The next night he goes back to the bar, and sure enough she shows up again, only this time alone. The guy gets up his nerve and approaches her. "Is it true you're a prostitute?"
"Why, sure, big boy. What can I do for you?"
"Well, I dunno. What do you charge?"
"I get $100 just for a handjob. We can negotiate from there."
"$100 For a handjob? Are you nuts?"
"You see that Ferrari out there?"
The guy looks out the front door, and sure enough there's a shiny new Ferrari parked outside.
"I paid cash for that Ferrari with the money I made on handjobs. Trust me, it's worth it."
The guy mulls it over for a while, and decides what the hell. He leaves with her, and gets the most unbelievable experience he's ever had. This handjob was better than any complete sexual experience in his miserable life.
The next night he's back at the bar, waiting eagerly for her to show up. When she does, he immediately approaches her.
"Last night was incredible"
"Of course it was. Just wait ‘til you try one of my blowjobs."
"How much is that?"
"$500"
"$500? C'mon, that's ridiculous."
"You see that apartment building across the street?"
The guy looks out front at a 12 story apartment building.
"I paid cash for that building with the money I made on blowjobs. Trust me, it's worth it."
Based on the night before, the guy decides to go for it. He leaves with her, and once again is not disappointed. He nearly blacks out twice from the pleasure he receives.
The next night he can hardly contain himself until she shows up. "I'm hooked, you're the best Tell me, what'll it cost me for some pussy?"
She motions for him to follow her outside. She points down the street, where between the buildings he can see Manhattan. "You see that island?"
"Aw, c'mon, You can't mean that."
She nods her head. "You bet. If I had a pussy, I'd own Manhattan"

CHOOSING YOUR PASSWORD
A girl was helping her boyfriend set up his PC and he wanted to log in with a password.
Now, you have to understand he's got somewhat of a rebelliousattitude and goes for the shock effect. So, when the computer asked him to enter_his password, he keys in "penis".
His girlfriend nearly fell off the chair from laughing so hard when_the computer replied...:
PASSWORD REJECTED. NOT LONG ENOUGH