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Old 2018-11-30, 04:03 PM   #1
sarettah
Asleep at the switch? I wasn't asleep, I was drunk
 
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Hello Greenguy's Peeps

I haven't posted in a while but thought I would pop in today because today I hit $100,000 in payouts received from Chaturbate.

Took 5 years but as of this morning at 8:04am I had done $100,004.63 in total money received from Chaturbate.

I thought that was worth celebrating so I decided to post about it.

I hope you are all doing well.

.
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Old 2018-11-30, 05:09 PM   #2
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These days, that's nothing to sneeze at, so
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Old 2018-12-01, 07:30 AM   #3
geirlur
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Congrats :}}}}
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Old 2018-12-01, 09:15 AM   #4
JustRobert
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Congrats to you!

Maybe I'll give them another/longer try again.
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Old 2018-12-01, 02:30 PM   #5
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Congratz!!!

Jlly
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Old 2018-12-02, 11:26 AM   #6
sarettah
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Thanks
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Old 2018-12-05, 09:51 AM   #7
ArtWilliams
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That's fantastic sarettah!
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Old 2018-12-05, 08:46 PM   #8
hony
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sarettah View Post
I haven't posted in a while but thought I would pop in today because today I hit $100,000 in payouts received from Chaturbate.

Took 5 years but as of this morning at 8:04am I had done $100,004.63 in total money received from Chaturbate.

I thought that was worth celebrating so I decided to post about it.

I hope you are all doing well.

.
Great result!

Is that all affiliate income or do you broadcast as well?

Most of my income from Chaturbate is tips from broadcasting.
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Old 2018-12-07, 10:30 AM   #9
sarettah
Asleep at the switch? I wasn't asleep, I was drunk
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hony View Post
Great result!

Is that all affiliate income or do you broadcast as well?

Most of my income from Chaturbate is tips from broadcasting.
Hi Hony,

That is all affiliate income.
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Old 2018-12-07, 10:35 AM   #10
sarettah
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artwilliams View Post
That's fantastic sarettah!
Thanks.

A joke I heard when I was very young.

3 ladies meet for the first time in 10 years at their High School reunion, they get talking.

First one says, you know, when I got out of high school I went to Harvard and got a masters in psychology but then I married a handsome doctor. Now we live in a 5 million dollar mansion and have 3 wonderful children.

The second one replies that's wonderful. Third one replies, that's fantastic.

The second one says, well, when I got out of high school I went into the Peace Corps where I traveled to South America and helped feed starving children, while I was there I met my husband, he's a Dentist. We now live in a 10 million dollar house in Boca, have 4 wonderful children and life could not be better.

The first one says that is just so beautiful, the third one says That's fantastic.

Then the first and second one look at the third one and ask, what did you do after high school?

She replied, well I went to charm school which is where they taught me to say "That's Fantastic" instead of "Bull Shit".

;p

.

Last edited by sarettah; 2018-12-07 at 10:39 AM..
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Old 2018-12-07, 11:27 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sarettah View Post
A joke I heard when I was very young...
That's fantastic!

































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Old 2018-12-07, 02:11 PM   #12
sarettah
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That's fantastic!
You are right, I was never very young I heard it when I was younger.

Do you know about Grandma's Whorehouse?

.
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Old 2018-12-08, 12:04 PM   #13
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Quote:
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You are right, I was never very young I heard it when I was younger.

Do you know about Grandma's Whorehouse?

.
CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY GRANDMA?
(I Googled it)
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Old 2018-12-08, 03:02 PM   #14
sarettah
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CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY GRANDMA?
(I Googled it)
Damn, Google has everything, doesn't it?

Back when I was 15 or so I worked at a summer camp as a dishwasher. There was a cook there, German guy named Hans. He had every edition of "jokes for the john", and there were lots of editions.

I learned so many jokes and used to be able to rip through them for about 2 or 3 hours. Now I remember a handful Grandmas' Whorehouse was one of them

Thanks for taking that away from me What's next? You gonna steal my ensure?




;p
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Old 2018-12-08, 03:09 PM   #15
sarettah
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Ok, I don't know how many of you are aware of it but me and Greenie, we go waaaaaayyyy back. I have known him and his family since before he even had a family.

I remember one day we were hanging around on Greenie's porch and his son, who was about 8 at the time, came running in. He said Dad, Dad, I've been hearing a lot lately about a thing called a penis. When I asked the teacher about it she said to ask you when I got home, so Dad, I am asking: What is a penis?

Well Greenie looked proudly at his son, stood up and right there on the porch he unzipped his pants, pulled out his dick and said, "Son, this is a penis and furthermore, this is a perfect penis.". His son looked at his Dad and said thanks Dad and left to go play with his friends.

The next day,as his son was walking to school, his friend Bobby ran up to him and asked, "Hey, did you find out what a penis was?". Greenie's son looked at Bobby, unzipped his pants, pulled out his dick and said: "Bobby, this is a penis and furthermore if it was 3 inches shorter, it would be a perfect penis."














Bazinga ;p

I'm here all week folks. Please make sure to tip the staff, they work hard for you.

.
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Old 2018-12-08, 03:23 PM   #16
sarettah
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I don't know how many of you know this about Greenguy but he used to be a farmer. Yep, in fact that was how we met.

I used to be a ventriliquist, a traveling ventriliquist in fact and one day I was driving down the road and my car broke down right in front of Greenguy's farm. I went up, knocked on his door and asked him if I could use the phone to call for a tow truck. He said sure. After my call I told him the tow truck wouldn't be there for an hour or 2. He said ok and he offered me some lemonade. We were sipping on the lemonade and I asked him if he would mind if I looked around the farm.

He proudly said to me that he would give me the grand tour of his farm. He was rightfully quite proud of it. So, we proceeded outside and started towards the barn. Just outside the barn was the Chicken coop.

He proudly said, "These here are my chickens. They are 4h champions evry one of them." I decided to have a little fun with my new friend so I turned to the Chickens and said "Hello Chickens, what do you do?", then using my ventriliquist skills I threw my voice so it appeared the Chickens responded with, "Well, we work for farmer Greenguy."

Greenguy looked all flustered and stammered out, "well, I never heard them do that before, golly."

We proceeded on our tour and we came to the Pigs. Greenguy proudly stated, "these is my pigs. They are all 4h champions too."

I proceeded to again use my skills to have fun. I asked the Pigs what the did and they replied that they work for farmer Greenguy and once again Greenguy got flustered and stammered out a "golly."

We did this with each batch of animals, the cows, the horses, the goats but when we were approaching the sheep Greenguy turned to me and said "Now don't you believe nothing that them sheep tell you, they all lie like a rug."

And that's how I met Greenguy.

.

Last edited by sarettah; 2018-12-08 at 03:44 PM..
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Old 2018-12-08, 03:30 PM   #17
sarettah
Asleep at the switch? I wasn't asleep, I was drunk
 
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Then there was that time in vegas, back in 2003 during Internext I think it was.

Me and Greenguy went out and decided to get drunk and he got himself 12 sheets to the wind let me tell you.

I don't remember which bar it was but Greenie decided he needed to get laid. So, he went up to the bartender and asked him, "Bartender, where can a guy get fucked around here?". The bartender replied, "you are in luck, just go on up those stairs over there and knock on the door at the top."

So, Greenie stumbles up the stairs, gets to the top, knocks on the door. A deep masculine voice answered with, "what do you want?". Greenie replied, "I want to get fucked.". The voice came back with, "Ok, just slip 20 dollars under the door."

Greenie fumbled with his wallet for a little bit, pulled out a 20 and slid it under the door and waited. Nothing happened for about 5 minutes so Greenie knocked on the door again and the voice once again replied, "What do you want." and Greenie once again said, "I want to get fucked."

The voice replied, "Again?"


.

Last edited by sarettah; 2018-12-08 at 03:32 PM..
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Old 2018-12-08, 03:32 PM   #18
sarettah
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And then there's the one about the Gay Indian who went up to the reservation to ask the Chief for a couple fo bucks to eat on.




Badda boom

.
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Old 2018-12-08, 09:07 PM   #19
Greenguy
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Oh dear what have I done??
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Old 2018-12-10, 10:28 AM   #20
sarettah
Asleep at the switch? I wasn't asleep, I was drunk
 
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So, there's these 2 gay indians driving through town. They come to a stop sign and stop. Suddenly another vehicle hits their rear bumper.

The Gay Indian Driver gets out of his car, goes back to the other car and tells the driver "I'm going ot sue you for every cent you have."

The other driver looks at him and says, "You can kiss my ass."

The Gay Indian goes back to his car, gets in, looks at his friend and says "Well, I think he's willing to settle out of court."






Bada Boom
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Old 2018-12-24, 01:27 PM   #21
sarettah
Asleep at the switch? I wasn't asleep, I was drunk
 
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I was on one of the other boards and there was this long assed discussion about cremation.

That just burns me up.



Get it? Creamation? Burns me up? I just crack myself up some times. ;p


I'm on fire over here, ya know?

.
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Old 2018-12-24, 01:28 PM   #22
sarettah
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I have a friend that was complaining because he failed his Sommelier training.

I told him to stop his wining.


.
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