I turned my son in - Page 3

sue-fl · 2006-07-13, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cleo

Because he was taking away from the pot fairy and providing it to those that the pot fairy didn't think deserved it???

Could you explain this to me please? Where do you think the weed that is smoked comes from?

I'm sorry but I don't see the difference between a bartender or the clerk at the liquor store or the person at 7/11 selling cigarettes, beer, and wine.

Don't give me bullshit about it being illegal.You sell porn and just like pot it is illegal in many places as is liquor. IMO pot is far less harmful then liquor or cigarettes. Maybe you son can turn your ass into the holy rollers on obscenity charges.

Good thing that you are rich because your son is going to need a shit load of money to deal with his legal mess that his loving mother has given him. Not like all that money couldn't have been used for other things… like to get your son some help… if he even needed help for his pot indulgence.

http://www.crrh.org/cannabis/

Wow Cleo that is a really stupid question. Anyone that smoke pot buys it from a dealer. So your telling me cause you smoke pot you would also sell it too? Or IF you happened to have an 18 year old and he/she was selling pot and pills you would say oh it's ok, go out on the streets and sell your pot. You will be safe and no way you can hurt doing that???????? He was selling to his friends many of them are not even 18 but I suppose that's ok also. I have said before I have nothing against pot, but when it's your child smoking and selling it you would feel mighty different!

Rich nope I'm not, mainly because we have spent a lot of money since his first arrest in Jan on counseling, so don't say I didn't try and get my son help. Not for pot either, I put him in counseling so if he had problems that I did not know about at the time he would have someone who is trained to help him out.

Why you are so angry and lashing out at me I don't have a clue. You have no kids, have no idea what it's like to be in my shoes, never will. I always had a lot of respect for you since joining here. I really think the way you worded your post was an insult to me.

Oh and by the way, sure he can turn as you put "his loving mothers ass in. Yep he sure can if he wants I'm not worried about anyone coming out here and looking at my files. And you worded it right as far as loving mother, I love my kids more than life itself, you don't agree with what I did Cleo that is fine. But you have no right to attack my love for my kids, I have hardly slept or eaten since this happened. My kids are the most important thing in the world to me, and it's my job as a mother to try and protect them.

cherri · 2006-07-14, 12:13 AM

Sue she is simply pointing out that someone has to sell it in order for someone to buy it and smoke it. That someone has to be someones child. Cleo makes alot of good points, there were alot of other options other than turning him in. I don't see her attacking the love you have for your kids, just the choices YOU made for them. I have 4 children all boys, in the last few months there has been two people we know to die of a heroin overdose. I hope I will never have to go through what you have been through because I could not make the decision you did. Everyone has a diffent way of handling things and a way of thinking of things and different opinions. One of the people who died their father has to go to work at midnight comes home and has to babysit his 24 year old son, because he is a heroin addict and has been through rehab and it didn't work. Is it an easy road NO. But he loves his son. The guy gets no sleep, lost his girlfriend and has given up his whole life to protect his son. His son also went to prison and that didn't work. I'm not trying to insult you just trying to show you that there are diffences in the way people deal with things.

ArtWilliams · 2006-07-14, 12:30 AM

Sue,

Many times I have thought of joining this thread and many times I have stopped myself.

You have made a very difficult choice and I hope, in the end, it is the right one for you and your son. It is likely the hardest thing you've had to do in your life.

I know others are verbally beating you up but I will not judge you. I just would like to say that my thoughts are with you during this very trying time.

Peace to you.

--- art

sue-fl · 2006-07-14, 12:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cherri

Sue she is simply pointing out that someone has to sell it in order for someone to buy it and smoke it. That someone has to be someones child. Cleo makes alot of good points, there were alot of other options other than turning him in. I don't see her attacking the love you have for your kids, just the choices YOU made for them. I have 4 children all boys, in the last few months there has been two people we know to die of a heroin overdose. I hope I will never have to go through what you have been through because I could not make the decision you did. Everyone has a diffent way of handling things and a way of thinking of things and different opinions. One of the people who died their father has to go to work at midnight comes home and has to babysit his 24 year old son, because he is a heroin addict and has been through rehab and it didn't work. Is it an easy road NO. But he loves his son. The guy gets no sleep, lost his girlfriend and has given up his whole life to protect his son. His son also went to prison and that didn't work. I'm not trying to insult you just trying to show you that there are diffences in the way people deal with things.

Thank-you Cherri. Of course their are differences in the way people handle things. I have no problem if people disagree with me, as I have said before. But you can disagree without the jabs that I got from her, like the way you posted. If I feel I'm being swung at I'll swing back. My hats off to your friend I'm glad the way he decided to handle it is working for him.

sue-fl · 2006-07-14, 12:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by artwilliams

Sue,

Many times I have thought of joining this thread and many times I have stopped myself.

You have made a very difficult choice and I hope, in the end, it is the right one for you and your son. It is likely the hardest thing you've had to do in your life.

I know others are verbally beating you up but I will not judge you. I just would like to say that my thoughts are with you during this very trying time.

Peace to you.

--- art

Thank-you Art

JoeBlack · 2006-07-14, 03:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim

People that are not parents have absolutely no idea what they would or would not do in this situation. There is nothing I wouldn't do for any of my children. And if I ever thought the only thing that would save one of their lives was to call the police, I would be on the phone in a second.

Started a post by saying "I'm not a parent but..." is all well and good. But, you really have no idea what being a parent is.

I'm not a parent but how often are the visiting hours going to be?
I'm not a parent but do they still sell drugs in jail?
I'm not a parent but who are the pot smokers of america going to turn to now?
I'm not a parent so what do I know.

ecchi · 2006-07-14, 03:56 AM

Joe, did you read my post on this subject? The one where I talk about kids who will be dead before they are thirty because their parents do not have the courage to turn them in? If not, read it now, particularly the paragraph:

"Those who are saying that they would never turn their kid in are saying that they think more of themselves than they do their kid. They are saying they would rather see their kid dead in a pool of blood than suffer the shame of being an informer."

In reply to your post ("I'm not a parent....") I'd say "Fucking good job you're not".

JoeBlack · 2006-07-14, 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ecchi

Joe, did you read my post on this subject? The one where I talk about kids who will be dead before they are thirty because their parents do not have the courage to turn them in? If not, read it now, particularly the paragraph:

I read your post but it was to hard to understand at times so I just sent it to jail.

You don't get it do you? It's not even about being an "informer" Its about not taking the choice away from someone to change just because its getting a little hard on the parent.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ecchi

"Those who are saying that they would never turn their kid in are saying that they think more of themselves than they do their kid. They are saying they would rather see their kid dead in a pool of blood than suffer the shame of being an informer."

"Dead in a pool of blood" You are so dramatic.

Where else in the world can you end up like that ? prison

Quote:

Originally Posted by ecchi

In reply to your post ("I'm not a parent....") I'd say "Fucking good job you're not".

If I was a parent the first thing I would have done was ask myself why does my son have to sell drugs ? Then I would tell myself if money was the only problem then I should figure out a way to set my son up with some of this great porn money im making. Or even offer to set him up an account as long as he stayed away from selling drugs and kept his grades at a decent level. Who knows maybe that might have worked to.

I don't know I could have done that or the jail thing it's a toss up.

Guess its a good thing im not a parent.

Zee · 2006-07-14, 04:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim

People that are not parents have absolutely no idea what they would or would not do in this situation. There is nothing I wouldn't do for any of my children. And if I ever thought the only thing that would save one of their lives was to call the police, I would be on the phone in a second.

Started a post by saying "I'm not a parent but..." is all well and good. But, you really have no idea what being a parent is.

VERY VERY well said sir. If someone's never been a parent before they have no idea what we will do to protect out children.

ecchi · 2006-07-14, 05:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JoeBlack

If I was a parent the first thing I would have done was ask myself why does my son have to sell drugs ? Then I would tell myself if money was the only problem then I should figure out a way to set my son up with some of this great porn money im making. Or even offer to set him up an account as long as he stayed away from selling drugs and kept his grades at a decent level. Who knows maybe that might have worked to.

And if you had read Sue's first post carefully you would have seen she has done all this. She had the choice of taking this step or giving up on her son, you I take would have just given up, after all what is a son, you can always have another one, right?

I think the problem with you not being a father is that you have no experience of how a teenager reacts. You can tell them 'till you are blue in the face and get ignored. In many cases they have to see for themselves the consequences of their actions before they accept them.

Incidentally, most people here seem to have a view of prison life that comes from watching too much Fox and too many bad movies. Prison life may be bad, but this romantic view that 'everyone gets killed in prison, and when they get out (after being murdered in the exercise yard?) they cannot get a job and their life is ruined', is as much bullshit as saying 'life in prison is like a holiday camp, and you get free lemonade whenever you want'.

JoeBlack · 2006-07-14, 06:07 AM

ecchi please if your going to try and make a point please dont change or add words to my statement. I never said anything about giving up. In fact my whole point was about not giving up. Hints the not sending to jail part. Your statement about a son and having another one that was based on ??? ... nah nevermind I know you were just trying to be clever.

Hmm I find this interesting. So in your words what you are saying is that "you are blue in the face and get ignored" so the only thing you can do to prove you are the adult and show them whos boss is to show them the extreme "consequences of their actions" so they accept what you say and make your job easier. See what I just did there with the word changing its not that hard to do.

I just want to know are you serious ?!?! PRISON is were they send the bad people who kill and rape. They call it prison because they have to lock these people up so they so dont hurt the people outside of the jail. What do you think all that stuff just stops once there locked up? Come on be serious.

Toby · 2006-07-14, 06:13 AM

Cliff · 2006-07-14, 06:41 AM

What you all do with your kids is your own business, and I respect your choice of action.

But, I would never ever call the police to my children.

I do not take drugs. But I think if people wanna take drugs it's their choice.

The whole world is fucked up, half the conflicts that are killing young soldiers in Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel and Lebanon are likely to have been sparked off by the CIA and MI6. Organisations that hold control over the law enforcement agencies.

The real criminals are sitting behind desks this morning...... not selling pot on the streets.

My attitude towards everything now is..... LOOK AFTER YOUR OWN.

eman · 2006-07-14, 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim

People that are not parents have absolutely no idea what they would or would not do in this situation. There is nothing I wouldn't do for any of my children. And if I ever thought the only thing that would save one of their lives was to call the police, I would be on the phone in a second.

Started a post by saying "I'm not a parent but..." is all well and good. But, you really have no idea what being a parent is.

People who aren't in THE situation have no idea what they would do. It's got nothing to do with being a parent. You could have 50 kids and still have no idea with regards to THE situation.

We are all equally disqualified from making an objective judgement (bar one).

This thread wasn't started because of the problem - it was posted because there were questions about the solution. And there's only one person who can answer those questions.

JoeBlack · 2006-07-14, 06:44 AM

Toby you are very right.

I am sorry if this has gotten off track and if I have spoke very harshly towards sci-fi choices but I just want to make it clear to anyone else who is having trouble with there child that the very extreme is not always the answer and it does not always work.

Some will say no one asked for your opinion but when you post on a public board like this the way she did it could have only came out 2 ways. Those who agree with what she did and those who disagree (ie: Me).

Even tho I extremely disagree with what she did I only wish her and her son the best with the decision she has made for them both. I only hope that when he comes out that he is not broken or held back in life for an 18 year old adolescent mistake that got taken to far.

This is the last thing I will say on this thread unless I am directly addressed.

Cliff · 2006-07-14, 06:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by eman

People who aren't in THE situation have no idea what they would do.

I can clearly imagine the situation.... and I am 99.9% sure that I'd not call the police.

eman · 2006-07-14, 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cliff

I can clearly imagine the situation.... and I am 99.9% sure that I'd not call the police.

"People who aren't in THE situation have no idea what they would do. It's got nothing to do with being a parent."

You missed the point.

Jel · 2006-07-14, 08:43 AM

Well hell,

I swore blind I wouldn't post in this thread, and as usual I'm about to

I was in THE situation. When I was 18 and was taking a shitload of drugs. How to pay? Steal. Where to steal from? Parents, neighbors, any old person who had a home I could break into. What happens? Bleeding heart liberals say the pressure of being an adolescent is so harsh that they'll mollycoddle me and see if some group hugs won't do the trick.

They don't. More thievery, more downward spiralling, more misery for my folks, compounded when I broke into the nighbors houses on each side of my parents, that goes down a treat when the old man is out front mowing the lawn I can tell ya.

Stolen goods and powder/pills all over the damn house. What do they do? They try talking, reasoning, offer support, all the usual stuff. I didn't want to know. I'm 18 and nothing can hurt me.

I got kicked out and spent a long while homeless, sleeing in cars, whether they were unlocked or I had to break into them. Sleeping in doorways. I was welcome back home if I laid of the drugs and theft, but I was far too pig-headed (and in no small way addicted) for that.

Came to a head when I broke into my parent's house to stash some stuff I'd robbed from elsewhere, my mom called the cops, and I served 18 months.

Without a doubt, THE best thing that coulda happened to me. I will never forget what I put her through, and it was a damn lot, before she felt she had no other choice but to see me throw my life down the toilet. I am, and will be eternally grateful.

juggernaut · 2006-07-14, 09:09 AM

Hey Sue. Have not been keeping up with this thread as it get to long and to crazy. But just got word an ex-coworkers son died last sunday. I have not been given the details yet. But I'm pretty sure it was drug related as the guy was constantly taking off work at least 1 day a week cause this kid was all over drugs.
http://miva.courierpostonline.com/mi...R%2BE.+7a11a06

hang in there.

MrYum · 2006-07-14, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jel

Well hell,

I swore blind I wouldn't post in this thread, and as usual I'm about to

I was in THE situation. When I was 18 and was taking a shitload of drugs. How to pay? Steal. Where to steal from? Parents, neighbors, any old person who had a home I could break into. What happens? Bleeding heart liberals say the pressure of being an adolescent is so harsh that they'll mollycoddle me and see if some group hugs won't do the trick.

They don't. More thievery, more downward spiralling, more misery for my folks, compounded when I broke into the nighbors houses on each side of my parents, that goes down a treat when the old man is out front mowing the lawn I can tell ya.

Stolen goods and powder/pills all over the damn house. What do they do? They try talking, reasoning, offer support, all the usual stuff. I didn't want to know. I'm 18 and nothing can hurt me.

I got kicked out and spent a long while homeless, sleeing in cars, whether they were unlocked or I had to break into them. Sleeping in doorways. I was welcome back home if I laid of the drugs and theft, but I was far too pig-headed (and in no small way addicted) for that.

Came to a head when I broke into my parent's house to stash some stuff I'd robbed from elsewhere, my mom called the cops, and I served 18 months.

Without a doubt, THE best thing that coulda happened to me. I will never forget what I put her through, and it was a damn lot, before she felt she had no other choice but to see me throw my life down the toilet. I am, and will be eternally grateful.

Wow...hats off to ya for turning the corner Jel and for deciding to post your story

Jim · 2006-07-14, 09:31 AM

I always used to laugh at the thought of pot being a gateway drug. I think they started saying that during the "Just Say No", Regan years. I was much younger then and always thought, how is it a gateway drug? It's just old people trying to scare kids.

But then, after thinking about it a bit and mostly teasing my wife...I really don't know anyone that smoked pot that has not tried something else. I don't have any idea what the link from pot to something else is, but it does seem to be there. It's probably because of the insane law making pot illegal. When you deal with an illegal product, there are surely much more to follow. So, who can we blame for the drug problem? I blame the lawmakers for making such a stupid law. After all, nobody says alcohol is a gateway drug. I guess I went off on a tangent. I do wonder how Mexico is doing after making all drugs legal. I haven't heard a word about it. Has it even gone into effect yet? I have to imagine drug related crimes have dropped considerably.

digifan · 2006-07-14, 11:04 AM

Don't break the heart of a mother who is deep down anyway please... it is her son, she did the labor, she raised him up, she watched all the good and bad... she came to this decision so respect it, she has to live with it.
She came here for support and not for opinions.

juggernaut · 2006-07-14, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jim

I always used to laugh at the thought of pot being a gateway drug. I think they started saying that during the "Just Say No", Regan years. I was much younger then and always thought, how is it a gateway drug? It's just old people trying to scare kids.

But then, after thinking about it a bit and mostly teasing my wife...I really don't know anyone that smoked pot that has not tried something else. I don't have any idea what the link from pot to something else is, but it does seem to be there.

Have to agree here Jim. I have never done anything else then smoke weed. BUt I have had my chances to try coke, acid and herion. The only reason I never followed my friends into those crazy nights was everytime the stuff was offered I saw my bro flopping on the ground. If not for that I'm sure I would have tried it. One night I got my ass kicked from my own friends cause they were doing coke and I wanted to try. They knew the problems my family had gone through and they would be damed if I went down that road. Kind of strange when you think about it. 4 guys snorting and they won't let one try. Good friends? I like to think so, they have all cleaned up since then, but I don't know if it was were we lived or the weed that gatewayed them to try coke. Living as close to the beach it's like party central in the summer. But I do have one friend who never tried anything, not even smoking cigs. If you smoke around him he hits the roof. We tied him up one night and tossed him in a closet and blew smoke under the door. We ran like bats out of hell when he got out.

juggernaut · 2006-07-14, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ecchi

If I was a parent the first thing I would have done was ask myself why does my son have to sell drugs ? Then I would tell myself if money was the only problem then I should figure out a way to set my son up with some of this great porn money im making. Or even offer to set him up an account as long as he stayed away from selling drugs and kept his grades at a decent level. Who knows maybe that might have worked to.

Heres part of the problem with that. The money is to easy dealing. My bro worked when he tried to clean up but did not like it. Funny not many do and I told him welcome to the real world. Slinging porn is still work. Deal drugs is not work. It's just dangerous and hell you can get that standing on a busy street corner. The money is as easy as a handshake and bam you have $100's if not $1000's in a couple of seconds. When my bro was doing this in high school. He would make 8k in one night dealing to the kids going to prom. How in the world is porn going to top that unless you own some megasite and even then manageing the employees and the day to day of the business is hard work. Drug dealers like to look at themselves as having jobs. Jobs at dealing. But fact is it's not a job unless you are a pharmacist.

sue-fl · 2006-07-14, 12:59 PM

Well this thread has taken on quite a life of it's own. Seeing people argue, people bashing is not what I hoped for when I posted this.

JoeBlack is right I started this post, so had to expect some strong opinions. Also when a thread gets this long, it takes to much time to read all the posts, so a lot of people miss important things that have been said.

First off thanks to Jel! He had taken the time to tell me his story in private which really helped me a lot. He didn't have to post it here but he did and Jel I appreciate it very much.

Ok here goes:
I posted this the night I turned my son it. I was a basket case, and hurting badly. I have seen the support on this board for others, and know how many good people there are here. I needed to get it out, and was not ready at the time to tell the family especially my other two kids who love their brother very much. So that was the reason for the post.

The facts:
I have given my son many chances, did all I could think to do for him.

When he was arrested the first time, I stood behind him, got him out, got him help most important of all loved him. As you can see it did not work.

You know I have raised three kids, in a loving home, with discipline, and respect. You people must realize there are kids no matter how they were raised go bad, and don't want to change no matter what you do or what kind of help you get them. My son is one of those kids.

My son is not in prison he will be if he doesn't decide to change though. He is in county jail, they way it works here is that is where you go at first. If you've done something that will require less than three years that is where you'll stay. He is also in medical ward, the same as last time he was in there. This ward is very segregated, they aren't even allowed outside. So no my son is not with murders and rapists as some of you seem to think. He's not with good people either, but it's not anything like you see on tv that happens in the big house.

I did not just get frustrated and throw him in there.

I did all I could to not go that route with no luck.

He was NOT just smoking pot, he was selling it and it didn't take him long to add pills to it also, who knows what was next.

I think he was in danger on the streets doing this. As I said he is young so thought nothing of bragging about it and flashing his money. This was told to me by a friend of his who was worried about him.

He's 18 and thinks nothing will happen to him, that was one of my biggest worries.

The fact that he looked me right in the eyes and said yeah mom I sell drugs and it's good money told me a lot.

He had a great job and damn lucky he had it. Not only that he made more than enough money as he was living at home. No I didn't want to put him in porn with me, he had a job. I do porn yes, but would not feel comfortable sitting with him and going threw porn.

Once again I appreciate the support it has been tremendous here on the board, and in private. The others have the right to disagree but some of the low blows have been uncalled for in my opinion. But I'm a firm believer in if you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen. I just don't want people here fighting and me to be the cause of it.

A lot of you say you'd never do what I did. I hope you are never in the situation I'm in and have to decide what steps you would take. Peace!

2006-07-14, 12:13 AM	#52
cherri WHO IS FONZY!?! Don't they teach you anything at school? Join Date: May 2004 Location: Illinois Posts: 48	Sue she is simply pointing out that someone has to sell it in order for someone to buy it and smoke it. That someone has to be someones child. Cleo makes alot of good points, there were alot of other options other than turning him in. I don't see her attacking the love you have for your kids, just the choices YOU made for them. I have 4 children all boys, in the last few months there has been two people we know to die of a heroin overdose. I hope I will never have to go through what you have been through because I could not make the decision you did. Everyone has a diffent way of handling things and a way of thinking of things and different opinions. One of the people who died their father has to go to work at midnight comes home and has to babysit his 24 year old son, because he is a heroin addict and has been through rehab and it didn't work. Is it an easy road NO. But he loves his son. The guy gets no sleep, lost his girlfriend and has given up his whole life to protect his son. His son also went to prison and that didn't work. I'm not trying to insult you just trying to show you that there are diffences in the way people deal with things. __________________ Nymphz XXX Sex Links

2006-07-14, 06:07 AM	#61
JoeBlack I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 327	ecchi please if your going to try and make a point please dont change or add words to my statement. I never said anything about giving up. In fact my whole point was about not giving up. Hints the not sending to jail part. Your statement about a son and having another one that was based on ??? ... nah nevermind I know you were just trying to be clever. Hmm I find this interesting. So in your words what you are saying is that "you are blue in the face and get ignored" so the only thing you can do to prove you are the adult and show them whos boss is to show them the extreme "consequences of their actions" so they accept what you say and make your job easier. See what I just did there with the word changing its not that hard to do. I just want to know are you serious ?!?! PRISON is were they send the bad people who kill and rape. They call it prison because they have to lock these people up so they so dont hurt the people outside of the jail. What do you think all that stuff just stops once there locked up? Come on be serious. Last edited by JoeBlack; 2006-07-14 at 06:12 AM..

2006-07-14, 06:13 AM	#62
Toby Lonewolf Internet Sales Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Houston Posts: 4,826	__________________ Latex Vixens Babes In Boots Well Heeled Women Dressing For Sex Stocking Vixens

2006-07-14, 06:41 AM	#63
Cliff Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos! Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 70	What you all do with your kids is your own business, and I respect your choice of action. But, I would never ever call the police to my children. I do not take drugs. But I think if people wanna take drugs it's their choice. The whole world is fucked up, half the conflicts that are killing young soldiers in Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel and Lebanon are likely to have been sparked off by the CIA and MI6. Organisations that hold control over the law enforcement agencies. The real criminals are sitting behind desks this morning...... not selling pot on the streets. My attitude towards everything now is..... LOOK AFTER YOUR OWN. __________________ <^^> Last edited by Cliff; 2006-07-14 at 06:43 AM..

2006-07-14, 06:44 AM	#65
JoeBlack I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 327	Toby you are very right. I am sorry if this has gotten off track and if I have spoke very harshly towards sci-fi choices but I just want to make it clear to anyone else who is having trouble with there child that the very extreme is not always the answer and it does not always work. Some will say no one asked for your opinion but when you post on a public board like this the way she did it could have only came out 2 ways. Those who agree with what she did and those who disagree (ie: Me). Even tho I extremely disagree with what she did I only wish her and her son the best with the decision she has made for them both. I only hope that when he comes out that he is not broken or held back in life for an 18 year old adolescent mistake that got taken to far. This is the last thing I will say on this thread unless I am directly addressed. Last edited by JoeBlack; 2006-07-14 at 07:02 AM..

2006-07-14, 12:30 AM	#53
ArtWilliams You can now put whatever you want in this space :) Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 6,244	Sue, Many times I have thought of joining this thread and many times I have stopped myself. You have made a very difficult choice and I hope, in the end, it is the right one for you and your son. It is likely the hardest thing you've had to do in your life. I know others are verbally beating you up but I will not judge you. I just would like to say that my thoughts are with you during this very trying time. Peace to you. --- art

2006-07-14, 03:56 AM	#57
ecchi Banned Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: About to be evicted!!!! Posts: 4,082	Joe, did you read my post on this subject? The one where I talk about kids who will be dead before they are thirty because their parents do not have the courage to turn them in? If not, read it now, particularly the paragraph: "Those who are saying that they would never turn their kid in are saying that they think more of themselves than they do their kid. They are saying they would rather see their kid dead in a pool of blood than suffer the shame of being an informer." In reply to your post ("I'm not a parent....") I'd say "Fucking good job you're not".

2006-07-14, 08:43 AM	#68
Jel I'm the only guy in the world who has to wake up to have a nightmare Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: London, United Kingdom Posts: 1,895	Well hell, I swore blind I wouldn't post in this thread, and as usual I'm about to I was in THE situation. When I was 18 and was taking a shitload of drugs. How to pay? Steal. Where to steal from? Parents, neighbors, any old person who had a home I could break into. What happens? Bleeding heart liberals say the pressure of being an adolescent is so harsh that they'll mollycoddle me and see if some group hugs won't do the trick. They don't. More thievery, more downward spiralling, more misery for my folks, compounded when I broke into the nighbors houses on each side of my parents, that goes down a treat when the old man is out front mowing the lawn I can tell ya. Stolen goods and powder/pills all over the damn house. What do they do? They try talking, reasoning, offer support, all the usual stuff. I didn't want to know. I'm 18 and nothing can hurt me. I got kicked out and spent a long while homeless, sleeing in cars, whether they were unlocked or I had to break into them. Sleeping in doorways. I was welcome back home if I laid of the drugs and theft, but I was far too pig-headed (and in no small way addicted) for that. Came to a head when I broke into my parent's house to stash some stuff I'd robbed from elsewhere, my mom called the cops, and I served 18 months. Without a doubt, THE best thing that coulda happened to me. I will never forget what I put her through, and it was a damn lot, before she felt she had no other choice but to see me throw my life down the toilet. I am, and will be eternally grateful.

2006-07-14, 09:09 AM	#69
juggernaut Registered User Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Central Jersey! If I was rich and powerful I would dress as my avatar does. Posts: 1,448	Hey Sue. Have not been keeping up with this thread as it get to long and to crazy. But just got word an ex-coworkers son died last sunday. I have not been given the details yet. But I'm pretty sure it was drug related as the guy was constantly taking off work at least 1 day a week cause this kid was all over drugs. http://miva.courierpostonline.com/mi...R%2BE.+7a11a06 hang in there.

2006-07-14, 09:31 AM	#71
Jim Banned Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Mohawk, New York Posts: 19,477	I always used to laugh at the thought of pot being a gateway drug. I think they started saying that during the "Just Say No", Regan years. I was much younger then and always thought, how is it a gateway drug? It's just old people trying to scare kids. But then, after thinking about it a bit and mostly teasing my wife...I really don't know anyone that smoked pot that has not tried something else. I don't have any idea what the link from pot to something else is, but it does seem to be there. It's probably because of the insane law making pot illegal. When you deal with an illegal product, there are surely much more to follow. So, who can we blame for the drug problem? I blame the lawmakers for making such a stupid law. After all, nobody says alcohol is a gateway drug. I guess I went off on a tangent. I do wonder how Mexico is doing after making all drugs legal. I haven't heard a word about it. Has it even gone into effect yet? I have to imagine drug related crimes have dropped considerably.

2006-07-14, 11:04 AM	#72
digifan ...and since we know an end will come it makes our living so much fun Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: In your dreams, baby Posts: 3,835	Don't break the heart of a mother who is deep down anyway please... it is her son, she did the labor, she raised him up, she watched all the good and bad... she came to this decision so respect it, she has to live with it. She came here for support and not for opinions. __________________ Webair Rocks

2006-07-14, 12:59 PM	#75
sue-fl You can now put whatever you want in this space :) Join Date: May 2005 Location: Florida Posts: 2,837	Well this thread has taken on quite a life of it's own. Seeing people argue, people bashing is not what I hoped for when I posted this. JoeBlack is right I started this post, so had to expect some strong opinions. Also when a thread gets this long, it takes to much time to read all the posts, so a lot of people miss important things that have been said. First off thanks to Jel! He had taken the time to tell me his story in private which really helped me a lot. He didn't have to post it here but he did and Jel I appreciate it very much. Ok here goes: I posted this the night I turned my son it. I was a basket case, and hurting badly. I have seen the support on this board for others, and know how many good people there are here. I needed to get it out, and was not ready at the time to tell the family especially my other two kids who love their brother very much. So that was the reason for the post. The facts: I have given my son many chances, did all I could think to do for him. When he was arrested the first time, I stood behind him, got him out, got him help most important of all loved him. As you can see it did not work. You know I have raised three kids, in a loving home, with discipline, and respect. You people must realize there are kids no matter how they were raised go bad, and don't want to change no matter what you do or what kind of help you get them. My son is one of those kids. My son is not in prison he will be if he doesn't decide to change though. He is in county jail, they way it works here is that is where you go at first. If you've done something that will require less than three years that is where you'll stay. He is also in medical ward, the same as last time he was in there. This ward is very segregated, they aren't even allowed outside. So no my son is not with murders and rapists as some of you seem to think. He's not with good people either, but it's not anything like you see on tv that happens in the big house. I did not just get frustrated and throw him in there. I did all I could to not go that route with no luck. He was NOT just smoking pot, he was selling it and it didn't take him long to add pills to it also, who knows what was next. I think he was in danger on the streets doing this. As I said he is young so thought nothing of bragging about it and flashing his money. This was told to me by a friend of his who was worried about him. He's 18 and thinks nothing will happen to him, that was one of my biggest worries. The fact that he looked me right in the eyes and said yeah mom I sell drugs and it's good money told me a lot. He had a great job and damn lucky he had it. Not only that he made more than enough money as he was living at home. No I didn't want to put him in porn with me, he had a job. I do porn yes, but would not feel comfortable sitting with him and going threw porn. Once again I appreciate the support it has been tremendous here on the board, and in private. The others have the right to disagree but some of the low blows have been uncalled for in my opinion. But I'm a firm believer in if you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen. I just don't want people here fighting and me to be the cause of it. A lot of you say you'd never do what I did. I hope you are never in the situation I'm in and have to decide what steps you would take. Peace!