Design considerations

[sarettah]

(This is a fictional analogy I sometimes use with clients when they piss me off).


Ok, you originally asked me to design and build a car. So, I designed and built the best f'ing car that anyone ever saw. It went 5000 miles per hour safely and the tires would never wear out. I demonstrated it and was told it was perfect, exactly what was needed.

A couple of days went by and you call me and say, yeah, we love the car, really but we can’t figure out how to make it fly. I replied, it’s a car, it isn’t supposed to fly but I will see what I can do. So, I took the car and attached a couple of wings and a tail and some flaps and made the thing fly.

It was still a pretty good car but was slower and more cumbersome. It flew ok, not as well as I would hope but it could take off, fly and land safely. I demonstrated it and you said, yeah, that’s exactly what we want, good job.

A couple of days later I get a call and you say, yeah we love the car-plane but when we drove it into the lake, it didn’t float. I replied that as far as I know, neither a car or a plane needs to be able to float but I will see what I can do. So, I took the car and bolted a solid bottom on to it, stuck a propeller on the rear and made it float and put put across the lake.

Now, it sucked as a car. Got about 1 mile to the gallon with a top speed of 10 mph. As a plane it would get off the ground but the odds of you landing safely were pretty low and as a boat, well, it floated but that was about it.

We started working on a car but what we have now is a Car-Plane-Boat. It has the characteristics of all 3 but doesn’t do the job of any of them worth a shit.

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That's all I got tonight.

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