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2009-06-24, 09:51 AM | #1 |
I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 85
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The irony...IT BURNS
I just had to explain to a Management Recruiter for Northrop Grumman that I can't let him send my resume to the really HIGH FUCKING PAYING 40 HOUR A WEEK job because I would need to pass a full Department of Defense Security Clearance.
*giggle* *pained gasp* *giggle* *hilarious pain* He couldn't understand why I was insisting that I wouldn't pass a DOD background check since I have no criminal record. Didn't I want the 85K+ a year job working for the Government Defense Contractor? I explained using a few choice words. Strippers, porn sites and a lifestyle that will make their hair test machines light up like a small sun. To which he laughed his ass off and thanked me for giving him the heads up. Me. Working for the Man. |
2009-06-24, 05:03 PM | #2 |
Selling porn allows me to stay in a constant state of Bliss - ain't that a trip!
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,914
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2009-06-24, 08:30 PM | #3 |
Perverted Empress
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Finland
Posts: 4,678
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uh.. last I heard, there was nothing illegal in most areas with what you are doing. AND, a lot of the top customers in the strip joints ARE defense contractors. I don't hide what I do, but I sure don't advertise it either. I always have a stable of mainstream sites to show off. I had one VP tell me that as long as I broke no local laws OR violated their code of conduct while I am on the clock, it is none of the company's business. And, yes, we do government contract work. It just doesn't require security clearances.
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So, who sprinkled all that Bitchy dust? |
2009-06-27, 09:15 AM | #4 |
The only guys who wear Hawaiian shirts are gay guys and big fat party animals
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I've been doing this for thirteen years and I passed the DoD background check,
getting a security clearance so we can work on government systems. You might have been just fine had you kept your mouth shut. |
2009-06-28, 12:45 PM | #5 | |
I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 85
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And that doesn't always work. As a professional contracting engineer (when I had a job) who has been fooling one to three drug screens a year for fifteen years, let me share my experience.
If you are every subjected to a hair test, the stuff the test is looking for is embedded in the hair follicle at a deeper level than the skin. I know this from talking with a few friendly dealers who have been around for a while. Sometimes a person who is due for a court ordered drug screen will shave everything...head, body and even eyebrows trying to dodge the test. (This is apparently a big ploy with coke heads...and coke is evil...trust me...watched it chew up several people). The judge orders them held over in a cell for a few days on contempt of court charges until the hair grows back enough for testing. The chemical signature is still readable from the first bit of hair that was growing under the skin and that you can't shave all off the first time. So....you can shave your head...but you would have to wait several days and do it all over again. However, getting James Bond on a piss test is easier as long as the matter is not a testing ordered by the Criminal Justice system. I have yet to be busted. Quote:
I don't do anything that would get me locked up...but the thought of being that closely scrutinized by the Powers That Be is something I will only do if I have NO other options. Now excuse me please...my tinfoil hat is on crooked. |
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2009-06-27, 10:38 AM | #6 |
I can now put whatever you want in this space :)
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Merica!
Posts: 543
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If you are into strippers, porn and that evil plant (or the hashtastic extract thereof) that once made me seriously ponder whether I should be peeing in the sink instead of the urinal, you just skip the bureaucrat part and head straight for politics where a blowjob isnt really sex and Argentina is where you go to fuck to family friends.
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Its just a jump to the left. |
2009-06-27, 11:25 AM | #7 |
I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for TEN MINUTES
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I don't think the porn is such a problem. The hair testing would be. Although, Bush was an alleged cocaine user, and he still had no problem being president.
Jax |
2009-06-27, 12:13 PM | #8 |
Subversive filth of the hedonistic decadent West
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Southeast Florida
Posts: 27,936
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I would have to shave my head.
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2009-06-27, 02:22 PM | #9 | |
Certified Nice Person
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Quote:
You are better off being a normal person who is willing to admit to his/her minor vices when going for a security clearance than you are being squeaky clean. Trust me.
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Click here to purchase a bridge I'm selling. |
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2009-06-28, 02:41 PM | #10 |
Women might be able to fake orgasms But men can fake whole relationships
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Fl
Posts: 2,408
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LOL, when I got my clearance 20 yrs ago to do some work at the old Pease air force base in NH, they interviewed old classmates, teachers, neighbors, employers, etc
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2009-06-28, 03:15 PM | #11 |
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,527
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A friend of mine offered to get me a slack part time job with Pinkertons about 25 years ago, all I had to do was pass their security checks.
My buddy calls me up and says I failed, I asked him why, he sez "Because you're a communist, I didn't know you were a communist?" I told him I was not and have never been a member of the communist party, but that I was an anarchist. He sez "Oh well, that must be it then. " Somehow I don't think any sort of job requiring a security clearance is in my future even if there were no drug tests. I've been bonded before and handled millions of dollars of other peoples cash, I can legally own long guns, but my politics mean I'll never be a security guard
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If the Environment was a bank, they would have saved it by now. |
2009-06-28, 05:27 PM | #12 |
Selling porn allows me to stay in a constant state of Bliss - ain't that a trip!
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 3,914
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