Looking for a writer? Look in...

[CD Smith]

Many of you know me or at least know of me. I've been in and around this business for 16+ years now, have been earning at least part of my living off the avails of writing for nearly all of that time and then some, around 25 years to be exact. I'm now able to accept a few select clients that need writing done. I am amicable no nonsense kind of fellow who is easy to work with.

I'm no Hank Moody or anything, as I'm certainly not as prosey and silver-tongued as he is. (Close, but not quite) But I can write adult like the wind. mainstream as well. I likely won't be the cheapest though, so if you value cheap over quality then you should probably mosey along.

If you need any of the following done to a certain standard.:

• Short stories of any length
• Scriptwriting
• Reviews (site, model, pornstar or gallery reviews etc)
• Ad or site copy of any type
• Blog posting
• Broken ingrish site rewritten into something legible
• Poorly written site rewritten into something worth reading

...then look no further. I price things on a per job basis, there is no 'one size fits all' here.
However, as a guideline some of my prices in the past based on EXCLUSIVE deals have been as follows...

• 500 word stories -- 3 for $50, 10 for $150
• 1500 word stories -- $50 per.
• 4000 word stories -- $100 per (circa 3500 - 4500 words each)
• Longer stories of 5000-to-10,000+ words - Let's talk.

Again, those prices are based on exclusive deals. They're also somewhat negotiable to a degree, especially if you want to do a bulk or ongoing deal.

NOTE -- All prices are in USD. All of my work is in ENGLISH.

For everything else not listed let me take a look at what's involved and I will negotiate a fair price with you or you can tell me the amount or rate you're offering and I'll consider it.

Currently I accept only Paypal, bank wire, or cheque by mail as payment forms.

Contact me: graphX at shaw dot ca
ICQ: 31024634

[CD Smith]

Just finished a 6 week writing project with a large review site, and am still looking for a few more clients who need writing done.

Stories, scripts, descriptions, blogging, whatever it is you need you need the best.

Bump.

[MeatPounder]

Originally Posted by CD Smith

NOTE -- All of my work is in ENGLISH.

Eh, I thought you were Canadian

[ecchi]

Originally Posted by MeatPounder

Eh, I thought you were Canadian

Canadian is closer to "True English" than American is.

(A quick English test: Explain why that last sentence shows you should NOT hire me to do a writing job.)

[CD Smith]

I speak and write fluent American as well.

Y'all
All y'all
Yo
wassup
well bust my britches
gag me with a canoe paddle
stick 'em up
gimme yer wallet

[CD Smith]

Just finished a load of cam site reviews for one client, and am about to start writing a series of niche fetish stories for another.

Anyone else need help?

Would you like some keyword-rich classy/informative/amusing writing on your site?

clearer and more grammatically correct text?

Something worth reading??

Let's talk.

graphX at shaw dot ca

[Useless]

Originally Posted by ecchi

Canadian is closer to "True English" than American is.

(A quick English test: Explain why that last sentence shows you should NOT hire me to do a writing job.)

Canadian and American aren't languages.

[ecchi]

Originally Posted by Useless Warrior

Canadian and American aren't languages.

Yes they are:

American: The version of English spoken by Americans.
Canadian: The version of English spoken by Canadians.

If you refuse to accept that these two are languages then you are saying that Americans speak English. "American English" is very different from "True English", and a lot of "American English" words are spelt differently to "True English"; If you claim "American" is not a separate language, then you are claiming that all Americans are illiterate morons. That makes you an anti-American racist!

[CD Smith]

Dialects. Accents. We're talking English dialects and regional accents here.

I'm well-versed in virtually all of them.

Jamaican mon.
Southern US (y'all)
NE US - Cliff Clavenspeak.
Northern US "Fargo" speak (includes Wisconsin cheesehead-speak)
SE US -- Californiaspeak. Dude, like whoa... that wave was like, tasty.
Russian-English: "I'm sorry comrade, your papers are not in order"
UK - all manner of accents up to and including use of the word "blimey."
Aussie accent: "Oye, oyd loik ta think that you weren't such a bleedin' gullywump, mate"
and tons more.


I love that a fight broke out in my for hire thread though. Thanks for the bumps.

[MeatPounder]

WICKED!

[ecchi]

Originally Posted by CD Smith

Dialects. Accents. We're talking English dialects and regional accents here.

No we are not. According to Merriam Webster (although other dictionaries give similar definitions):

Accent: A way of pronouncing words that occurs among the people in a particular region or country.

Dialect: A form of a language that is spoken in a particular area and that uses some of its own words, grammar, and pronunciations.

Neither of which allow for different spelling. For words like like "colour" being spelt "color" in American, "arse" being spelt "ass", etc. So - if you are saying that English and American are not different languages, and that they are just different accents and dialects then you too are claiming that all Americans are illiterate morons. That makes you too an anti-American racist!

(Although you are Canadian, and going by the few Canadians I have met, the default setting for a Canadian is "anti-American racist".)

[ecchi]

OK, this thread has just caused me to rebel. I could not bring myself to use the American word "airplane", so, in a story part set in one of those vehicles I have been using the international abbreviation 'plane. But I've got so sick of doing this, and just caught myself screaming "Fuck the Americans" at the monitor and using the correct spelling, "Aeroplane".

You're all gonna have to learn to read English, or I am going to go mad!

[CD Smith]

Originally Posted by ecchi

No we are not.

Yes, we are. Different spelling variations of a few specific words does not indicate a complete separate language.

Canadians, Brits, Americans, Aussies, S Africans, all understand each other (for the most part) because of one reason and one reason only... because they all speak English.

Different accents, different spellings of specific words, still English.



Appreciate the bumps though.

[ecchi]

Originally Posted by CD Smith

Yes, we are. Different spelling variations of a few specific words does not indicate a complete separate language.

I don't have a problem with this. But remember, one language means one spelling, so if it is not a different language then it is the same language written by morons!!!!!

You wanna tell your southern neighbours that, or shall I?

[ecchi]

Originally Posted by CD Smith

Canadians, Brits, Americans, Aussies, S Africans, all understand each other (for the most part) because of one reason and one reason only... because they all speak English.

This is not entirely true. British, Australian, and South African movies are sometimes dubbed or subtitled when released in the USA because the Americans cannot understand them in their "native" language.

[CD Smith]

Originally Posted by ecchi

I don't have a problem with this. But remember, one language means one spelling, so if it is not a different language then it is the same language written by morons!!!!!

You wanna tell your southern neighbours that, or shall I?

Knock yourself out. But you're wrong, one language does not mean one spelling.

Color -- US variant.
Colour -- UK/Canadian spelling.

Same language, same word with same meaning, two different spellings.

Originally Posted by ecchi

This is not entirely true. British, Australian, and South African movies are sometimes dubbed or subtitled when released in the USA because the Americans cannot understand them in their "native" language.

That is due to accents being difficult to understand for some, not language.

Around the time I graduated high school I met a girl whose family was Scottish. They all spoke English, all were speaking the same language as me barring a few Scottish colloquialisms, but her mothers' accent was so thick that at first I couldn't understand her fully. I'd get maybe one out of every three or four words and that was it.

It took me a good half a year of being around them in order to get used to her accent.

Same language, just pronounced differently. Just like the technical help person on the phone speaking to you from India, or SE Asia, etc. They're speaking English but with a heavy enough accent it can seem as if it's another language. But it isn't.

[ecchi]

I think you misunderstand my point. I am not saying defiantly that American is a different language to English. I am saying that I have no idea what is the correct definition of "language" (although Dictionary.com defines it to include "the system of linguistic signs or symbols.......any set or system of such symbols as used in a more or less uniform fashion by a number of people........any system of formalized symbols, signs....." which effectively means that if you use letters as the symbols, they have to all be the same spelling).

However all languages have "rules", and if you don't stick to those "rules" you are, by definition, at best ignorant, and at worst illiterate. So if we say that the language used in the US is English, then you are saying that the correct spelling in the US is the English spelling, and spellings like "color" and "ass" are incorrect spellings. Since all Americans use these spellings, this means that, if Americans speak "English", then all Americans are idiots. That is why I prefer to believe the option that Americans speak "American" rather than "English"!

As an amusing(ish) post script: Dictionary.com is an American site. When I spell checked this post, my spell checker (which is set to "English") objected to their "incorrect" spelling of "formalised".

[CD Smith]

Originally Posted by ecchi

I am saying that I have no idea what is the correct definition of "language"

Yes, that much is painfully obvious.


I believe you're simply overthinking it. You'll drive yourself mental trying to make sense of it all. Write in the style you know best and let everyone (including the Americans) figure it out on their own.

We don't say "skint" over here in Canada much, but on first reading it I quickly figured out it meant 'broke'. You don't see me declaring a new language do you?

Write what you know.

[CD Smith]

Just recently finished up writing some 'catfight' stories for one client, some forum promo spots for another, and am ready to take on some new projects.

So tell me, what are YOUR writing needs?

[CD Smith]

Paysite owners: are tube sites who promote you outranking you in search results for your own videos? I can help. I'm currently writing SEO/keyword-rich titles/descriptions that read beautifully for others, and I can do the same for you.

graphX at shaw dot ca --- shoot me an email.
icq 31024634


Stories? I'll write a 4000 word erotic story for you for $100 each,
or a bulk order of 10 for $750. (SUMMER SPECIAL)

Put me to the test, my quality is unmatched, my imagination for plot ideas are limitless.

Paysite theme? Scripts? Let's talk.

[Toby]

Who do I see to get my 10 minutes back?

[pc]

Here's my take on this (ignore it if you want)

HTML - website structure programming language that has evolved over the last decade or so. Many still use tables and other elements that are only in HTML 3 or HTML 4 where HTML 5 the newest brings new elements for use. But its still one language.

CSS - Styling language that also evolved to the latest CSS 3 but some still use inline styling . Some browsers don't accept all, some browsers interpret things differently but its still css.

😊

[MeatPounder]

But is it Tomayto or Tomahto?

[CD Smith]

Originally Posted by Toby

Who do I see to get my 10 minutes back?

No refunds!

[Useless]

Originally Posted by CD Smith

No refunds!

Is that English or Canadian?