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2006-07-13, 08:28 PM | #51 | |
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Rich nope I'm not, mainly because we have spent a lot of money since his first arrest in Jan on counseling, so don't say I didn't try and get my son help. Not for pot either, I put him in counseling so if he had problems that I did not know about at the time he would have someone who is trained to help him out. Why you are so angry and lashing out at me I don't have a clue. You have no kids, have no idea what it's like to be in my shoes, never will. I always had a lot of respect for you since joining here. I really think the way you worded your post was an insult to me. Oh and by the way, sure he can turn as you put "his loving mothers ass in. Yep he sure can if he wants I'm not worried about anyone coming out here and looking at my files. And you worded it right as far as loving mother, I love my kids more than life itself, you don't agree with what I did Cleo that is fine. But you have no right to attack my love for my kids, I have hardly slept or eaten since this happened. My kids are the most important thing in the world to me, and it's my job as a mother to try and protect them. |
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2006-07-14, 12:13 AM | #52 |
WHO IS FONZY!?! Don't they teach you anything at school?
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Sue she is simply pointing out that someone has to sell it in order for someone to buy it and smoke it. That someone has to be someones child. Cleo makes alot of good points, there were alot of other options other than turning him in. I don't see her attacking the love you have for your kids, just the choices YOU made for them. I have 4 children all boys, in the last few months there has been two people we know to die of a heroin overdose. I hope I will never have to go through what you have been through because I could not make the decision you did. Everyone has a diffent way of handling things and a way of thinking of things and different opinions. One of the people who died their father has to go to work at midnight comes home and has to babysit his 24 year old son, because he is a heroin addict and has been through rehab and it didn't work. Is it an easy road NO. But he loves his son. The guy gets no sleep, lost his girlfriend and has given up his whole life to protect his son. His son also went to prison and that didn't work. I'm not trying to insult you just trying to show you that there are diffences in the way people deal with things.
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2006-07-14, 12:30 AM | #53 |
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Sue,
Many times I have thought of joining this thread and many times I have stopped myself. You have made a very difficult choice and I hope, in the end, it is the right one for you and your son. It is likely the hardest thing you've had to do in your life. I know others are verbally beating you up but I will not judge you. I just would like to say that my thoughts are with you during this very trying time. Peace to you. --- art |
2006-07-14, 12:33 AM | #54 | |
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2006-07-14, 12:35 AM | #55 | |
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2006-07-14, 03:47 AM | #56 | |
I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me
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I'm not a parent but do they still sell drugs in jail? I'm not a parent but who are the pot smokers of america going to turn to now? I'm not a parent so what do I know. Last edited by JoeBlack; 2006-07-14 at 03:51 AM.. |
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2006-07-14, 03:56 AM | #57 |
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Joe, did you read my post on this subject? The one where I talk about kids who will be dead before they are thirty because their parents do not have the courage to turn them in? If not, read it now, particularly the paragraph:
"Those who are saying that they would never turn their kid in are saying that they think more of themselves than they do their kid. They are saying they would rather see their kid dead in a pool of blood than suffer the shame of being an informer." In reply to your post ("I'm not a parent....") I'd say "Fucking good job you're not". |
2006-07-14, 04:43 AM | #58 | |||
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You don't get it do you? It's not even about being an "informer" Its about not taking the choice away from someone to change just because its getting a little hard on the parent. Quote:
Where else in the world can you end up like that ? prison Quote:
I don't know I could have done that or the jail thing it's a toss up. Guess its a good thing im not a parent. Last edited by JoeBlack; 2006-07-14 at 04:46 AM.. |
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2006-07-14, 04:56 AM | #59 | |
Rock stars ... is there anything they don't know?
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2006-07-14, 05:01 AM | #60 | |
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I think the problem with you not being a father is that you have no experience of how a teenager reacts. You can tell them 'till you are blue in the face and get ignored. In many cases they have to see for themselves the consequences of their actions before they accept them. Incidentally, most people here seem to have a view of prison life that comes from watching too much Fox and too many bad movies. Prison life may be bad, but this romantic view that 'everyone gets killed in prison, and when they get out (after being murdered in the exercise yard?) they cannot get a job and their life is ruined', is as much bullshit as saying 'life in prison is like a holiday camp, and you get free lemonade whenever you want'. |
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2006-07-14, 06:07 AM | #61 |
I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me
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ecchi please if your going to try and make a point please dont change or add words to my statement. I never said anything about giving up. In fact my whole point was about not giving up. Hints the not sending to jail part. Your statement about a son and having another one that was based on ??? ... nah nevermind I know you were just trying to be clever.
Hmm I find this interesting. So in your words what you are saying is that "you are blue in the face and get ignored" so the only thing you can do to prove you are the adult and show them whos boss is to show them the extreme "consequences of their actions" so they accept what you say and make your job easier. See what I just did there with the word changing its not that hard to do. I just want to know are you serious ?!?! PRISON is were they send the bad people who kill and rape. They call it prison because they have to lock these people up so they so dont hurt the people outside of the jail. What do you think all that stuff just stops once there locked up? Come on be serious. Last edited by JoeBlack; 2006-07-14 at 06:12 AM.. |
2006-07-14, 06:13 AM | #62 |
Lonewolf Internet Sales
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2006-07-14, 06:41 AM | #63 |
Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!
Join Date: Nov 2004
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What you all do with your kids is your own business, and I respect your choice of action.
But, I would never ever call the police to my children. I do not take drugs. But I think if people wanna take drugs it's their choice. The whole world is fucked up, half the conflicts that are killing young soldiers in Iraq, Afghanistan, Israel and Lebanon are likely to have been sparked off by the CIA and MI6. Organisations that hold control over the law enforcement agencies. The real criminals are sitting behind desks this morning...... not selling pot on the streets. My attitude towards everything now is..... LOOK AFTER YOUR OWN.
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2006-07-14, 06:44 AM | #64 | |
Solipsists of the world unite
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We are all equally disqualified from making an objective judgement (bar one). This thread wasn't started because of the problem - it was posted because there were questions about the solution. And there's only one person who can answer those questions. Last edited by eman; 2006-07-14 at 06:48 AM.. |
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2006-07-14, 06:44 AM | #65 |
I've always wondered if there was a god. And now I know there is -- and it's me
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Toby you are very right.
I am sorry if this has gotten off track and if I have spoke very harshly towards sci-fi choices but I just want to make it clear to anyone else who is having trouble with there child that the very extreme is not always the answer and it does not always work. Some will say no one asked for your opinion but when you post on a public board like this the way she did it could have only came out 2 ways. Those who agree with what she did and those who disagree (ie: Me). Even tho I extremely disagree with what she did I only wish her and her son the best with the decision she has made for them both. I only hope that when he comes out that he is not broken or held back in life for an 18 year old adolescent mistake that got taken to far. This is the last thing I will say on this thread unless I am directly addressed. Last edited by JoeBlack; 2006-07-14 at 07:02 AM.. |
2006-07-14, 06:49 AM | #66 | |
Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 70
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2006-07-14, 07:43 AM | #67 | |
Solipsists of the world unite
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You missed the point. |
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2006-07-14, 08:43 AM | #68 |
I'm the only guy in the world who has to wake up to have a nightmare
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: London, United Kingdom
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Well hell,
I swore blind I wouldn't post in this thread, and as usual I'm about to I was in THE situation. When I was 18 and was taking a shitload of drugs. How to pay? Steal. Where to steal from? Parents, neighbors, any old person who had a home I could break into. What happens? Bleeding heart liberals say the pressure of being an adolescent is so harsh that they'll mollycoddle me and see if some group hugs won't do the trick. They don't. More thievery, more downward spiralling, more misery for my folks, compounded when I broke into the nighbors houses on each side of my parents, that goes down a treat when the old man is out front mowing the lawn I can tell ya. Stolen goods and powder/pills all over the damn house. What do they do? They try talking, reasoning, offer support, all the usual stuff. I didn't want to know. I'm 18 and nothing can hurt me. I got kicked out and spent a long while homeless, sleeing in cars, whether they were unlocked or I had to break into them. Sleeping in doorways. I was welcome back home if I laid of the drugs and theft, but I was far too pig-headed (and in no small way addicted) for that. Came to a head when I broke into my parent's house to stash some stuff I'd robbed from elsewhere, my mom called the cops, and I served 18 months. Without a doubt, THE best thing that coulda happened to me. I will never forget what I put her through, and it was a damn lot, before she felt she had no other choice but to see me throw my life down the toilet. I am, and will be eternally grateful. |
2006-07-14, 09:09 AM | #69 |
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Hey Sue. Have not been keeping up with this thread as it get to long and to crazy. But just got word an ex-coworkers son died last sunday. I have not been given the details yet. But I'm pretty sure it was drug related as the guy was constantly taking off work at least 1 day a week cause this kid was all over drugs.
http://miva.courierpostonline.com/mi...R%2BE.+7a11a06 hang in there. |
2006-07-14, 09:30 AM | #70 | |
Arghhhh...submit yer sites ya ruddy swabs!
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2006-07-14, 09:31 AM | #71 |
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I always used to laugh at the thought of pot being a gateway drug. I think they started saying that during the "Just Say No", Regan years. I was much younger then and always thought, how is it a gateway drug? It's just old people trying to scare kids.
But then, after thinking about it a bit and mostly teasing my wife...I really don't know anyone that smoked pot that has not tried something else. I don't have any idea what the link from pot to something else is, but it does seem to be there. It's probably because of the insane law making pot illegal. When you deal with an illegal product, there are surely much more to follow. So, who can we blame for the drug problem? I blame the lawmakers for making such a stupid law. After all, nobody says alcohol is a gateway drug. I guess I went off on a tangent. I do wonder how Mexico is doing after making all drugs legal. I haven't heard a word about it. Has it even gone into effect yet? I have to imagine drug related crimes have dropped considerably. |
2006-07-14, 11:04 AM | #72 |
...and since we know an end will come it makes our living so much fun
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Don't break the heart of a mother who is deep down anyway please... it is her son, she did the labor, she raised him up, she watched all the good and bad... she came to this decision so respect it, she has to live with it.
She came here for support and not for opinions. |
2006-07-14, 11:10 AM | #73 | |
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2006-07-14, 11:18 AM | #74 | |
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2006-07-14, 12:59 PM | #75 |
You can now put whatever you want in this space :)
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Well this thread has taken on quite a life of it's own. Seeing people argue, people bashing is not what I hoped for when I posted this.
JoeBlack is right I started this post, so had to expect some strong opinions. Also when a thread gets this long, it takes to much time to read all the posts, so a lot of people miss important things that have been said. First off thanks to Jel! He had taken the time to tell me his story in private which really helped me a lot. He didn't have to post it here but he did and Jel I appreciate it very much. Ok here goes: I posted this the night I turned my son it. I was a basket case, and hurting badly. I have seen the support on this board for others, and know how many good people there are here. I needed to get it out, and was not ready at the time to tell the family especially my other two kids who love their brother very much. So that was the reason for the post. The facts: I have given my son many chances, did all I could think to do for him. When he was arrested the first time, I stood behind him, got him out, got him help most important of all loved him. As you can see it did not work. You know I have raised three kids, in a loving home, with discipline, and respect. You people must realize there are kids no matter how they were raised go bad, and don't want to change no matter what you do or what kind of help you get them. My son is one of those kids. My son is not in prison he will be if he doesn't decide to change though. He is in county jail, they way it works here is that is where you go at first. If you've done something that will require less than three years that is where you'll stay. He is also in medical ward, the same as last time he was in there. This ward is very segregated, they aren't even allowed outside. So no my son is not with murders and rapists as some of you seem to think. He's not with good people either, but it's not anything like you see on tv that happens in the big house. I did not just get frustrated and throw him in there. I did all I could to not go that route with no luck. He was NOT just smoking pot, he was selling it and it didn't take him long to add pills to it also, who knows what was next. I think he was in danger on the streets doing this. As I said he is young so thought nothing of bragging about it and flashing his money. This was told to me by a friend of his who was worried about him. He's 18 and thinks nothing will happen to him, that was one of my biggest worries. The fact that he looked me right in the eyes and said yeah mom I sell drugs and it's good money told me a lot. He had a great job and damn lucky he had it. Not only that he made more than enough money as he was living at home. No I didn't want to put him in porn with me, he had a job. I do porn yes, but would not feel comfortable sitting with him and going threw porn. Once again I appreciate the support it has been tremendous here on the board, and in private. The others have the right to disagree but some of the low blows have been uncalled for in my opinion. But I'm a firm believer in if you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen. I just don't want people here fighting and me to be the cause of it. A lot of you say you'd never do what I did. I hope you are never in the situation I'm in and have to decide what steps you would take. Peace! |
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