she knows i understand (heay i am her mom, mom always understand:)) i think she handles this very well and i will lett her deal with it in her own way, she is right about the part " you didnt see it happen" her friends did, so if she wanna talk with them about it and they can find a way in their own to deal with it....then that would be great and she knows i will be there for her if she needs me, and a part will be driving her to school tomorrow:) she will manage it, but i am glad i could get advice on this board about the topic, you know we have a saying here in holland "2 know more then one" that counds for this board, with all the postings that gave me a great help to get my daughter thru this and ofcourse her own way of dealing with this!