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-   -   Quite Possibly The Worst 2 Weeks Of My Life (http://www.greenguysboard.com/board/showthread.php?t=39538)

Mr Exotic 2007-04-09 12:19 PM

Quite Possibly The Worst 2 Weeks Of My Life
 
Sorry to bring everyone down with my shit, but I have been kinda scarce here lately and wanted to let everyone know, just in case I may have missed some icq messages or emails.

Started out about a month ago finding out my grandma has breast cancer, but they said they found it early and scheduled a surgeory to have it removed.

Then 2 weeks ago Saturday, got into about my wife over some stupid dumb shit over cleaning the house. I know we didnt have a perfect marriage, and had our times, but I thought we both loved each other, and things had been getting better and better the last 2-3 years. Well after I bitched her out she starts saying she's leaving me. And now over 2 weeks later she still hasnt changed her mind and says the only hope is for her to be out on her own for a while and maybe some day we can start over again, but says she has to find out. Many many factors go into this that I wont bore everyone with, but like I said I thought we were doing fine, we've always been 100% faithful to each other, never lie to each other, have 2 beautiful little ones. She had a really tough childhood on many different accounts that she has not yet dealt with, and I know she struggles with all the time, and she wont admit it, but I really feel that has a huge part to do with what is going on. Needless to say, talk about the most shocking and traumatic event of my sheltered life.

Then I find out after my grandma's surgeory that they found more cancer in her, now she has to have yet another surgeory, and god knows what else they are gonn have to put her thru. It doesnt help that she is having everything done all the way down in Florida, so I cant even be there.

Then just last night, found out a buddy that I hung out with my cousins just got killed in Iraq. He wasnt a real close personal friend of mine, but he was of my cousin's good friends, so I hung out with him a number of times.

So I'm just sitting here trying to get myself together enough to start working again on a regular basis, wondering what the fuck else can go wrong. Sorry to bring everyone down with my bullshit, but it helps to get it off my chest, and like I said wanted to let people know just incase I missed some emails, pms, or ICQ messages.

Bill 2007-04-09 01:21 PM

I'm sorry to hear it man, that does sound pretty bad.

it's crazy how bad things come in waves.

I hope you get a few breaks soon.

Licker4U 2007-04-09 01:33 PM

Hang in there. When you're at the bottom all you can do is go up |thumb

And know that in 5 years most of this will be a distant memory...that's what gets me through tough times.

JackDaniel's 2007-04-09 02:36 PM

I'm really sorry to hear about the problems you had lately :(

I really hope things change for you and everything returns to normal in your life.

Keep hope alive |thumb

Greenguy 2007-04-09 03:13 PM

Good Luck, Bro |thumb

Jim 2007-04-09 03:33 PM

I wish you the best of luck. I kind of went through the same crap when my mother had cancer. Except, I did the leaving and finally came to my senses.

Cleo 2007-04-09 03:56 PM

Wow :(
Nothing I can say really will help other then to say hopefully things will get better.

Tvduijn 2007-04-09 05:00 PM

Really sorry to read this,

I wish you all the best in these hard times.

bDok 2007-04-09 05:23 PM

fuck man. Hope things turn around sooner rather than later.

B

quest 2007-04-09 07:07 PM

Hi Mr Exotic,

Just thought I would also wish you the best.

My wife was from Indiana too, around the Warsaw area, when we split up she went to Indiana and overdosed and died.

So, I suppose it can get worst BUT,
you must remember... Every dog has he day.

It will get better... It will.

You just need to hang in there and never give up.


Ben

Simon 2007-04-09 07:35 PM

Sorry to hear about the troubles you've been dealing with.
All good wishes for things to improve soon.

ponygirl 2007-04-09 08:23 PM

wow, sorry you're going through such a rough time. I'll send out some good vibes, I hope things get better for you soon.

SheepGuy 2007-04-09 08:58 PM

Hang in there man. I know words are pretty much meaningless when you hit bottom, but really they are all we can offer each other. Hang tough, believe in yourself, things always get better when you work to make them so.

oldbrad 2007-04-09 09:14 PM

Like everyone else said i wish the best for you. Everyone goes through that kind of stuff, you just gotta get through it and eventually things get better.

Best wishes.

Brad

docholly 2007-04-09 09:54 PM

Sorry to hear about all the issues.. it's the "rains and pours" syndrome.. on a good note.. if your wife hasn't left YET..like she's been there for 2 weeks still.. i'd say that is a good sign. We women take a long time to decide and we spout off alot.. but when we are ready to roll .. doesn't matter what the circumstances.. we're gone.

I don't know how old your grandmother is, but one of the best things you can give to people is your time. Sounds hokey but maybe she just needs someone to talk too.. to sort out this monster that is inside of her.

Best of luck.

Useless 2007-04-09 10:06 PM

That's terrible. I'm sorry. :(

Mr Exotic 2007-04-09 10:17 PM

Thank you for all the kind words and well wishes. I think I am just now starting to be able to deal with the wife thing. I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I know I have always worked on things and always made a good effort. She says her mom wont take sides, and her dad wont even talk to her about it, guess they know personally just how difficult she can be to live with when she is having some of her issues. I guess I have finally stopped letting her blame me for everything. I take care of everything around the house, I watch the kids, and sometime in between my fulltime "housewife" duties I manage to make a living as well. Guess I am confident she will see that maybe life without me aint so great. And all those "terrible" things I do, that make me such an asshole (like bitching at her about rinsing her plate off and complaining about her bringing home a truckload of toys when the kids rooms are already overflowing with toys) aint so bad afterall. I'll let her have her fun running around with the 20 year old girl from work and if she thinks that life is better then so be it, I am just done beating myself up over the whole mess.

Ramster 2007-04-09 10:27 PM

Mr Exotic. Sorry to hear this and glad you are looking on the up side a bit. All the best.

sue-fl 2007-04-09 10:44 PM

Sorry Mr Exotic to hear of your problems. Life sometimes gives you more than your ready to deal with. Remember that and know it will get better. Best of luck to you |thumb

SheepGuy 2007-04-10 02:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr Exotic (Post 341715)
I am just done beating myself up over the whole mess.

Well said dude, hold your head up, take what comes, and depend on yourself first. When you need a friend don't be an enemy to yourself.

digifan 2007-04-10 03:36 AM

Hang in there, you are strong enough to sort things out, respect!

And listen to Docholly, she is so smart, about women and the wife and your grandma... help her accept her situation and talk to her, just call her if you are so busy at home so she knows you are thinking of her.
I cannot tell you how lonely I am, always alone, not being able to speak, my cancer spreading slowly and getting a lot of radation etc... your caring will help her a lot.

Best of luck.

And great post, Docholly |thumb

MightyMidget 2007-04-10 05:46 AM

Wow, I saw the thread title and thought it was about horrible sales...

Really sorry about what's happening to you, Mr Exotic. Things will get better though, eventually, just hang in there!

emmanuelle 2007-04-10 10:04 AM

Keep your chin up Mr Exotic!

Mr Exotic 2007-04-10 11:28 AM

Thanks again you guys. I would love to be there with my grandma and spend every moment with her, but she is having her treatment done in Florida and staying with my uncle who lives down there in the Naples area. I am sure her reasoning being that she doesnt want the whole family having to stop their lives to take care of her, but what she doesnt realize is that is exactly what we want to do. My grandpa died 3 and a half years ago of liver cancer, so it makes this even harder, maybe going thru the same thing he did in the same place would bring back too many bad memories for her. She lives way out in the country on some acreage and since my grandpa died I have been taking care of everything out there for her, and just about everytime I go out there and do anything for her she starts crying thanking me so much. She has a hard time letting people take care of her, and doesnt want to be a burden on everyone, so I guess thats why she is having everything done so far away. I wish so badly that she would come home, just so I could take care of her and so I could do everything for her.

I have actually been feeling kind of guilty over this because since she is gone I cant really be that involved and I have been so caught up and stressed out over the mess with my wife I feel like I havent even had a chance to worry like I should about my grandma.

Tanya_AWP 2007-04-10 01:53 PM

Sorry to hear that, hope you keep you're trust in God. Hang in there, losing some1 to cancer is really tough..I'll pray fur u always......|yawn|

stuveltje 2007-04-10 05:19 PM

I am sorry to hear about the troubles you have to deal with, life isnt always like we want it to be, but it will always get better again ( i hope i said that one right)

Best of luck

spookyx 2007-04-10 05:49 PM

Just hang in there, and call your grandmother everyday :)


|peace|

Tekko 2007-04-10 07:10 PM

Sorry to hear about your grandmother and wife. Hang in there...

TrendSetter 2007-04-12 06:44 PM

Your family troubles are a little familiar to me.In 2000 one of my grandmothers' died because of the same shit being 73,and the other-in 4 years being 62.That's terrible...
And as for you relations with your beloved,I believe those problems appeared due to your being too demanding about the order in your house,perhaps I misunderstood,but anyway I wish you the best the soonest possible

Fonz 2007-04-13 06:18 AM

Damn I must have missed this thread when it started...

Sorry to hear about your problems Mr Exotic. I hope your issues with the wife will resolve and that she sees what you've done for her and the kids.
I lost my grandmother to cancer 5 years ago, she lived 5 houses from me so I got to see her every day. I hope yours pulls through.
I'm really not good at this so sorry if something got lost in translation and like Sheepguy said, hold your head up :)

Mr Exotic 2007-04-24 10:41 AM

Got some great news about my grandma yesterday. Her full body scan came back completely cancer free besides the other lump they found in her breast they found after they took the first one out. The plan was a full macsectomy but now they say they are just gonna take that other lump out and give her some radiation treatments. So definitely looking like my grandma is gonna make it thru this.

The wife situation aint as good but better than it had been. Last Wednesday she actually went to get the paperwork to start filing for the divorce, but she looked them thru Wednesday night put them up and hasnt touched them since, and her whole attitude has changed towards me. She's been nice and for some crazy reason totally rational. Told me that even if she does file for a divorce she has 60 days to cancel it at anytime, and then started saying some crazy shit about how even it it did go thru we could still end up getting remarried. So she's giving herself every way out that she possibly can. I have just decided that no matter what she does I will be fine, am even starting to realize that maybe I like not having her around, kinda nice not having to deal with all her drama bullshit. I totally quit calling and bugging her, if she calls me and talks to me I am nice as I can be. Funny thing happened yesterday, she used to always get so pissed off at me for calling her all the time while she was out and about, yesterday she tried calling while I had took the kids to the park, and right when I was getting ready to call her back she called again. HAHA thats the same shit she used to get pissed off at me about. The other night while she was home with the kids and I was out staying at my brothers I came home the next day to see that she has been listening to music on my computer, well she was listening to songs that were about missing your significant other, haha. I suppose I'll give her a few more months (until our anniversary June 19th) and if she still is in limbo and cant make up her mind I think I'll give her an ultimatum, come home and make up, or I am gonna file for a divorce myself and I aint gonna be talking about getting remarried or canceling it within 60 days.


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