Men's sex habits explained
 

http://www.thestar.co.za/index.php?f...494&fSetId=505

"....every girl and her sister has had some guy hint that he'd like to hop into bed with her ... and her sister."
Yep, we're all pervs.

I've decided to take a moment to answer the questions for any of GG&Jim's female readers. :D

Q-Why are guys obsessed with making women scream like porn stars?
Useless Answer: I wouldn't hammer a nail if it didn't make that 'bang' sound on impact, why should you be any different?

Q-Please stop the jackhammer sex, it's just plain frustrating.
Useless Answer: Christ baby, if I don't slam you so hard, your fat ass won't bounce you back up at me, and if you don't bounce back up, it's like fucking a corpse.

Q-How come men do the exact same thing every time during sex?
Useless Answer: Because I'm fucking the exact same woman.

Q- Hello! What's the big deal with swallowing?
Useless Answer: You worked so hard to get that goo out of me, seems a shame you should waste it. God hates spitters.

Q-Why do guys have bedroom attention deficit disorder?
Useless Answer: I like to change position each time reality shatters my fantasy that I'm fucking someone desirable.

Q-What's with the tongue-flicking?
Useless Answer: Would you prefer that I spit on you?

Q-Why do men fall asleep so soon after sex?
Useless Answer: I always fall asleep when I'm with someone boring.

Q-How come men do the exact same thing every time during sex?
Useless Answer: Because I'm fucking the exact same woman.


lmao, that is classic :D

No one can out do our Useless Warrior.

I don't really care what you do with it but don't get any of it on me. Yuck

LOLOLOL WORD

lol Useless Warrior that's some funny shit

Possible female responses to this thread
1. Be horribly offended by Useless Warrior's humor and rant against it
2. Try and come up with similarly witty and humorous list about how hopeless men are in bed
3. Hint that UW thinks he has a dick like this:
http://sexsites4women.com/blondegayguy2.jpg
4. Ignore the thread and go back to work

:D

You know..I am a deprived child..
At this point in my life, I don't mind saying I've been around the block once or twice..but I NEVER SAW A DICK LIKE THAT..Photoshop does wonders it's true..
But, in the abstract chance that there might just exist one out there like that, I'd have to say it would be a hell of a man or woman to take that all in..Because it hurts me just to look at it thinking about it.

And now I will go back to work..

|mml|

BTW..UW, .. |blowkiss|

We are waiting Useless. Grandmascrotum has issued a challenge.

I may or may not have had some pithy comeback to Useless' post...but I clicked on the .jpg and now for the life of me, I can't remember what I was going to say.

I'm right there with you. I'm speechless. |ohhhhh|

Not possible.

For some strange reason I'm suddenly feeling terribly inadequate. |noclue|

Oh, please. The man's a mutant. He could run naked into a pasture and frighten the cows! |shocking|

LOL Im so glad Im not hung like that. I mean all that thing is good for is showing off how much you never get laid. Sure it would be interesting to look at durring parties. You could have a nice conversation about it around the camp fire while you are using it to roast marsh-mellows. But we all know 1 out of 10 girls/females/woman/gay men are really thinking about cutting down that tree. The rest are just glad they never had to deal with the task of telling that guy for the 900000 time. I'm sorry but its just too big, cant we just sit here and watch the news. lol

Besides where the hell did his balls go? lol

There is this study which shows that men are not truly bisexual but woman are.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/05/he...sex.html?8hpib
Free registration required.

After reading UW's post I'm guessing that hetro men aren't bisexual for the same reason that they aren't attracted to pigs at the local farm.

LOL... I totally agree with you buddy. Thanks for the link.. |shocking|

ROFL
I made UW speechless! Cool!
Meanwhile, Cleo sinks the slipper with style.

By the way, I had a lot of fun creating monster dicks in Photoshop.
More here: http://sexsites4women.com/dickzilla/dickzilla.html

Well, grandmascrotum...all I can think looking at those pics is that Pinnochio got lucky! |ohhhhh|

cool.. lol!

bwahahaha!!

Grandma, that's great!!


|mml|

I used to work on a pony farm and you'd see cocks like that all the time.

Simply brilliant |thumb