Greenguy's Board

Hoffmann is buying a used motorcycle from his cousin. He says, "My God, it's so shiny, it's like new. What's your secret?"

His cousin says, "Well, any time it's about to rain, I coat the chrome with a little Vaseline so it won't tarnish. In fact, I won't be needing this any more, here, take my tube."

Hoffmann goes to pick up his girlfriend on the motorcycle. Theyre going to her parents' house for dinner and he's going to meet them for the very first time.

On the way she says to him, "Listen, I have to tell you something. My family's a little strange. You can't talk during dinner. If you talk during dinner, you have to do the dishes."

He thinks, "All right..."

When they go into her parents' house, not only in the kitchen, but in the dining room, the living room, on the stairs, the back porch, everywhere, there are piles and piles of dirty dishes. They haven't done the dishes in months.

They sit down to eat, and the whole meal, nobody talks. During dessert, Hoffmann is getting a little horny, and he figures nobody is going to say anything, so he grabs his girlfriend and pounds her right there on the dining room table.

Nobody says anything.

He's still a little horny, and her mother is kind of cute, so he figures, what the hell. He throws her mother up on the table and starts to do her. He's just about done with her when he looks out the window and sees it's starting to rain on his motorcycle. He reaches into his pocket and takes out the tube of Vaseline.

Her father jumps up and says, "All right, all right, I'll do the fucking dishes!" |loony|