Greenguy's Board - Lets keep the WHOLE law!

I received this an email and had to post it here |jester|

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a US radio personality who
dispenses "advice" to people who call in to her radio
show.
Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew,
homosexuality is an abomination according to the Old
Testament, Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned
under any circumstance.

The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by
a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's
funny, as well as informative.

Dear Dr. Laura,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people
regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from
your show, and try to share that knowledge with as
many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the

homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind
them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an
abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding
some of the other specific laws and how to follow
them.

1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I
know it creates a pleasing smell for the Lord -
Leviticus 1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim
the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as
sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what
do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am not allowed to have contact with a
woman while she is in her period of menstrual
uncleanliness - Leviticus 15:19-24. The problem is,
how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women
take offense.

4. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may indeed possess
slaves, both male and female, provided they are
purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine
claims that this applies to Mexicans but not
Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the
Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states she should be put
to death. Am I morally obligated to kill her myself?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating
shellfish is an abomination - Leviticus 11:10, it is
lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree.
Can you settle this?

7. Leviticus 21:20 states that I may not approach the
altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have
to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision
have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair cut,
including the hair around their temples, even though
this is expressly forbidden by the bible, in Leviticus
19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Leviticus 11:6-9 that touching the skin
of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play
football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19:19
by planting two different crops in the same field, as
does his wife by wearing garments made of two
different kinds of threads (cotton and polyester
blend). He also tends to curse a lot. Is it really
necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the
whole town to stone them? - Leviticus 24:10-16.
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private
family affair like we do with people who sleep with
their in-laws? Leviticus 20:14

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I
am confident you can help. Thank you again for
reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging.

Your devoted fan,

Jim