[Chop Smith]

The following is the contents of an email circulating amonst my friends. A buddy who works in Russia started it.

While reading it, keep in mind that at home Chop is referred to as Uncle Benny or Unc by everyone and I am not kin to any of them. Guess it is a respect for the old kind of thing.

Uncle Benny went to his doctor's office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave him a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow." The next day Unc reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked what happened and Unc explained: "Well, doc, it's like this - First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked Robin for help. She tried with her right hand, then her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth and still nothing. We even called up Brandy and she tried too, first with both hands, then an armpit and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "None of that worked?"

Unc replied, "Nope. And no matter what we tried, we still couldn't get the jar open."