I'm not a link list owner, just a concerned citizen.
I didn't 'know' anyone when I started building and submitting free sites and I've always felt pretty damn successful at getting listed. I can submit a free site to 12 lists and almost guarantee that at least 10 them will accept it. But when I submit galleries to TGPs, I'd be damned if I get listed at 10 out of 300 places I submit to.
But as Chop said, become part of this community. Let people see your name and use that name when you submit to them. That way you aren't just another complete stranger to them. Plus, you can always post your free site links here and ask the link list owners why the hell they didn't accept it.