[Useless]

Warranty does not cover claims arrising from improper installation, unauthorized repair, misuse, neglect, accident, lightning, flood, tornados, tsunamis, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, hurricanes, extraterrestrial impacts and/or other Acts of God, incorrect line voltage and/or frequency, improper or unauthorized reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, magnetic fields, sonic boom vibrations, chemical reactions, unauthorized customer adjustments, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, explosive decompression, falling rocks, falling on rocks, leaky roofs, broken glass, broken glasses, mud slides, slipping on mud, forest fires, fires not in forests, or any form of projectiles (which can include, but not be limited to: sticks, stones, arrows, bullets, buckshot, BBs, shrapnel, torpedoes, flares, lasers, or emissions of x-rays, microwaves, alpha, beta, gamma and/or cosmic rays, or knives, swords, spears, boomerangs, etc.); warranty will also not apply in any incidents involving divine intervention, alien encounters, demonic possessions, exorcisms, or in the unfortunate event that life as we know it ceases to exist on this planet.

I like this last sentence. That's a mouthful.