The best advice I can give is to experiment and be flexible. Bend your own set of business rules if you think it's worth it, but always be prepared to make changes if you need to. If you think you are getting declined due to unreasonable demands then don't submit there.
When I started submitting freesites an established link list (that had been listing my sites already) simply asked me to put their recip in a "better" place, so I did. It was definately worth making the change.
Would I have done it for a less established link list? Probably, because it's not always about the traffic, it's about building relationships and trust, and supporting people who have been helpful to you.
