Quote:
Originally Posted by Useless Warrior
I was going to ask DJilla to step away and take a few deep breaths before preceeding the other day, but I feared the irony of the situation would have made me poor counsel. I could already hear is reply ringing in my ears. "Who the fuck are you to tell any one to calm down and act rational?!!!"  |
Heheheh! At first I laughed and thought "how true" but then later I thought maybe not since I've always identified with your balls to the wall, Hunter Thompson style. But funny.
======================
Well, woke up this morn and it wasn't a nightmare I really did it. Thinking over and over how could this have happened I came to an answer that makes sense to me. Though I did one year towards a masters in psych before deciding that psych was crap (at least for me), I did (do) have a spiritual teacher (yeah I hear the guffaws) that a few years ago helped me understand not the reason but at least the pattern of my ... eh problem.
We came to the obvious conclusion that I only behaved that way toward a real enemy OR someone I didn't know. It never happened towards people I did know. Though I have come to know many by their posts, I still had this image in my head of an impersonal electronic identity and I think that went a long way in allowing me no reserve in how I acted. In the real world, I've also only directed my anger at the target and never people who weren't responsible. In this case I've disrespected 10s, 100s, 1000s, (OMG) of people who visit this board
and had nothing to do with my issue and to whom I again apoligize profusely.
But this is not anonymous. This community is as real as it gets, some of you so tight that you act like family. It may sound stupid but I've but my pic up on the avatar for awhile so now I can't hide and I'll feel like you guys know me too. I'll never be able to embarrass myself before you again.
I intend to be in this biz for a long while, I don't need to make a profit to stick around until the pieces fall in place and I want to be known as successful for others to be around. I may not need money but I need you guys/girls, each and every one of you and your basic good will.
Thanks ALOT for this second chance. Happy Holidays!