Actually, with the type of blog you have your probably going to have to make a choice between linking to sites within the same niche but of lower quality or linking to sites of an equal quality but not niched.
My personal preference is always linking to the higher quality sites regardless of niche (as long as they are adult themed) and there are a few of those type of blogs owners running around this forum. Take a look at some peoples sig's and what not and see if they have blogs and then you could try contacting them...and the people they link to.
To give you a jump start, I would recommend Simon, PonyGirl, Sue, Tigermom and Virgohippy as good places to start.
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