Solved... so silly.
Basically, it was the use of a ' within the window.status='blah blah'
Specifically (in case anyone else ever runs into this):
onMouseOver="window.status='Mike's Apartment';return true"
SHOULD BE
onMouseOver="window.status='Mikes Apartment';return true"
No apostrophe in the 'Mikes' - that is what was screwing everything up.
I hate code sometimes.
