Good to see you posting Jim
A therapist told me years ago that they don't believe in the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" philosophy
except when it comes to depression. He told me to make myself go to a movie, make myself go out to dinner, force myself to do
anything that was once pleasurable. Grief and depression are very similar. The pain doesn't go away, we find ways to deal with it so it doesn't hurt as much.