Kisa, that's a great post
I'm only just back from lazing on the beach but I like how your post has a motivational effect.
In order to become part of "their" content stream you as a webmaster have to offer something useful and worthwhile to the individual. But that's a marketing idea that's as old as the hills: quality and personal service. I realise that's a dumbed down version of what you've said but it's still something I very much believe in. Be a likeable personality behind what you offer, and don't rip people off. Kind of simple really.
Re Facebook: I'm on it with my real name and I keep it separate from my online smut life. And I've actually really enjoyed reconnecting with old friends. I even met some at a party at Christmas. Of course, I refuse to take part in all the silly info-stealing add-ons. And I hit "ignore" on all those silly bitches who I hated at high school. I just want to keep in touch with old friends.
How to use it as a marketing tool? Well, I've noticed there's a group called "Women who like porn". I've got an alternative ID for facebook and I'm going to post a few links to their group. Yes, it's spammy, but it's worth a go. Also handy for finding new talent.
Actually, I had a guy email me nude photos thanks to my generally useless Ms Naughty Myspace page. I always thought of it as an extra advertising space on the web.