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Tough question with no real easy answer. A lot of link sites are so hard to navigate nowadays and difficult to access if they are still updating (not listing dates sites added, etc..).
I for one go through my server stats at least once a month (more when I began) and group the link list recips by amount of traffic received. If one quit updating, likely I would catch it at that time and investigate the site.
Many times during submissions a link site will 404, I won't delete that site immediately and will leave the recip up (they've sent traffic in the past and I would do the same for your site if you were having a glitch), however if it continues for several days then I would remove the site. One example of this was pornfresh after his domain hijacking, I left the button but killed the link in case he got things taken care of. Now, I've removed it altogether.
The longer I know a link site has been up and operational comes into play when making a consideration whether to carry the link for a bit or delete it. Maybe the same should apply for submitters. After all, the amount of traffic received from the recips is pretty insignificant as claimed by most. I would take the submitters history, quality into consideration I think as I don't think they are personally trying to fuck you, they are just hard working people like yourself for the most part. The al4a recips and obvious bs recip scamming are a different subject.
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