Arizona's Senate-Approved Birther Bill... "Penis Documentation"

LD · 2011-04-14, 05:28 PM

They don't call Arizona the "meth lab of Democracy" for nothing -- where else could a lack of foreskin prove citizenship?

The Arizona Senate formally passed the "Birther Bill" today, but not in its original version.

Apparently, requiring presidential candidates to provide a long-form birth certificate before allowing their names on the ballot in Arizona -- despite it already being a federal requirement to run for president -- was a bit too much for a few GOP lawmakers. So they made some amendments: if you can't find your birth certificate, and you have a penis, a document describing your lack of foreskin will suffice.

A circumcision certificate -- a document given to the parents of a male Jewish child after his foreskin is snipped off during a circumcision ceremony -- is not a legal document (see an example of one here) but if you have one, under the amended bill, it's apparently enough to prove you're a U.S. citizen and your name can be permitted on the ballot in Arizona.

Pulling out your penis in front of election officials, however, will not prove citizenship -- and, in the worst case scenario, could get labeled a sex offender.

Some other ways to prove that you're not a Kenyan version of the Manchurian Candidate, as spelled out in the ridiculous bill, could be to provide a hospital birth record, a postpartum medical record, or an early census record.

See the amended version of the bill here.

While the bill, even in its original form, is comical/tragic in itself (Arizona legislators spent their time and your tax money coming up with a potential law that already exists at the federal level. Not to mention, it's in response to a repeatedly debunked conspiracy theory), the most comical aspect of the amended bill is that it seems to have been designed to make the legislation look less nuts -- many GOP lawmakers wouldn't sign on unless the far-right-wingers would lighten up about what types of documents would satisfy proof of citizenship requirements.

What they ended up with is a bill that requires a presidential candidate -- if all else fails -- to basically provide documentation describing what his penis looks like in order to get on the ballot in Arizona.

Again: "meth lab of Democracy."

The bill now heads to the Arizona House of Representatives, where it has passed in the past, and likely will again.

http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/val...her_bill_c.php

We've got some crazy fuckers running this country...

Bill · 2011-04-14, 07:06 PM

"meth lab of democracy" - thats a funny line.

meth labs at least produce something the market wants, tho, so maybe not a fair comparison.

i figure the behaviors of the red states are a kind of object lesson, a morality tale, and the tale may not spin out the way the republicans expect as the next few decades pass.

virgohippy · 2011-04-14, 07:12 PM

Sorry ladies, the presidency is a boys only club.

ArtWilliams · 2011-04-14, 08:31 PM

I've never understood why you had to be born in the U.S. to be President. It seems to exclude many qualified candidates. Fucktards like George W and Reagan were born there and that didn't seem to help the country much.

TrainWreckContent · 2011-04-14, 09:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by artwilliams

I've never understood why you had to be born in the U.S. to be President. It seems to exclude many qualified candidates. Fucktards like George W and Reagan were born there and that didn't seem to help the country much.

LOL! so true

2011-04-14, 05:28 PM	#1
LD wtfwjd? Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 2,103	Arizona's Senate-Approved Birther Bill... "Penis Documentation" They don't call Arizona the "meth lab of Democracy" for nothing -- where else could a lack of foreskin prove citizenship? The Arizona Senate formally passed the "Birther Bill" today, but not in its original version. Apparently, requiring presidential candidates to provide a long-form birth certificate before allowing their names on the ballot in Arizona -- despite it already being a federal requirement to run for president -- was a bit too much for a few GOP lawmakers. So they made some amendments: if you can't find your birth certificate, and you have a penis, a document describing your lack of foreskin will suffice. A circumcision certificate -- a document given to the parents of a male Jewish child after his foreskin is snipped off during a circumcision ceremony -- is not a legal document (see an example of one here) but if you have one, under the amended bill, it's apparently enough to prove you're a U.S. citizen and your name can be permitted on the ballot in Arizona. Pulling out your penis in front of election officials, however, will not prove citizenship -- and, in the worst case scenario, could get labeled a sex offender. Some other ways to prove that you're not a Kenyan version of the Manchurian Candidate, as spelled out in the ridiculous bill, could be to provide a hospital birth record, a postpartum medical record, or an early census record. See the amended version of the bill here. While the bill, even in its original form, is comical/tragic in itself (Arizona legislators spent their time and your tax money coming up with a potential law that already exists at the federal level. Not to mention, it's in response to a repeatedly debunked conspiracy theory), the most comical aspect of the amended bill is that it seems to have been designed to make the legislation look less nuts -- many GOP lawmakers wouldn't sign on unless the far-right-wingers would lighten up about what types of documents would satisfy proof of citizenship requirements. What they ended up with is a bill that requires a presidential candidate -- if all else fails -- to basically provide documentation describing what his penis looks like in order to get on the ballot in Arizona. Again: "meth lab of Democracy." The bill now heads to the Arizona House of Representatives, where it has passed in the past, and likely will again. http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/val...her_bill_c.php We've got some crazy fuckers running this country... __________________ Artisteer Wordpress Theme Generator Create Custom Themes! My Little Network Last edited by LD; 2011-04-14 at 05:32 PM..

2011-04-14, 07:12 PM	#3
virgohippy Madness is like gravity. All it takes is a little... push. Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: California Posts: 1,679	Sorry ladies, the presidency is a boys only club. __________________ ~Warm and Fuzzy.

2011-04-14, 07:06 PM	#2
Bill Selling porn allows me to stay in a constant state of Bliss - ain't that a trip! Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 3,914	"meth lab of democracy" - thats a funny line. meth labs at least produce something the market wants, tho, so maybe not a fair comparison. i figure the behaviors of the red states are a kind of object lesson, a morality tale, and the tale may not spin out the way the republicans expect as the next few decades pass.

2011-04-14, 08:31 PM	#4
ArtWilliams You can now put whatever you want in this space :) Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 6,244	I've never understood why you had to be born in the U.S. to be President. It seems to exclude many qualified candidates. Fucktards like George W and Reagan were born there and that didn't seem to help the country much.