No Joke

[Ernie]

If a police officer in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, suspects a couple is having sex inside a vehicle they must honk their horn three times, and wait two minutes before being allowed to approach the scene.



Women must address bachelors as master instead of mister, according to an Illinois state law.


A law in Oblong, Illinois makes it a crime to make love while fishing or hunting on your wedding day.



A law in Fairbanks, Alaska, does not allow moose to have sex on city streets.



In Ventura County, California, cats and dogs are not allowed to have sex without a permit.



Clinton, Oklahoma, has a law against masturbating while watching two people having sex in a car.



In Willowdale, Oregon, no man may curse while having sex with his wife.



In Harrisburg, Pennsylvania it is illegal to have sex with a truck driver inside a toll booth.



Hotels in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, are required by law to furnish their rooms with twin beds only. There should be a minimum of two feet between the beds, and it is illegal for a couple to make love on the floor between the beds.



In Kingsville, Texas, there is a law against two pigs having sex on the city's airport property.



A Tremonton, Utah law states that no woman is allowed to have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance. In addition to normal charges, the woman's name will be published in the local newspaper. The man does not receive any punishment.



No woman may go in public without wearing a corset in Norfolk, Virginia.



In the state of Washington there is a law against having sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (including the wedding night)



The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.



In Florida it is illegal for single, divorced, or widowed women to parachute on Sunday afternoons.



In Ames, Iowa a husband may not take more than three gulps of beer while lying in bed with his wife.



A law in Alexandria, Minnesota makes it illegal for a husband to make love to his wife if his breath smells like garlic, onions, or sardines.


In Bozeman, Montana, you can't perform any sexual acts in the front yard of any home, after sundown, and if you are nude.


A Helena, Montana law states that a woman cannot dance on a saloon table unless her clothing weighs more than three pounds, two ounces.



Hotel owners in Hastings, Nebraska are required by law to provide a clean, white cotton nightshirt to each guest. According to the law, no couple may have sex unless they are wearing the nightshirts.



Any couple making out inside a vehicle, and accidentally sounding the horn during their lustful act, may be taken to jail according to a Liberty Corner, New Jersey law.



During lunch breaks in Carlsbad, New Mexico, no couple should engage in a sexual act while parked in their vehicle, unless their car has curtains.



In Nevada sex without a condom is considered illegal.



In Cleveland, Ohio women are not allowed to wear patent-leather shoes.



In Connorsville, Wisconsin no man shall shoot of a gun while his female partner is having a sexual orgasm

[Extreme John]

I love these things, they amaze the shit out of me.