Are my blog descriptions rubbish?

[marcjacob]

If so how can i improve them? Remember im gay so have no clue about girls lol

http://123teens.thumblogger.com/

Any feedback very welcome

[Receptor]

Firstly, I'd take blog off the free host. I think others will say that aswell. And perhaps creating smaller thumbs and linking them to your sponsor or bigger pictures would reduce site loading time. And maybe a bit more text - but if you are planning this to be a splog, you're on the right way, lol.

[marcjacob]

What is a splog?

[walrus]

Originally Posted by marcjacob

What is a splog?

A splog is what most of us do...in some manner or another. Its a sales blog or spam blog for the purists.

It's the small nuances that your getting wrong. Like you slide your dick between tits not into them. Plus it reads like your really not into chicks.

[virgohippy]

Originally Posted by walrus

...it reads like your really not into chicks.

I agree.

It's your tone. I don't hear a very convincing desire. When you talk about how much you'd like something you imply it with soft language rather then say it in harder, more direct language.

Here's what I mean - turn this:

Jasmine is married, but her husband has NO idea that she is doing this. She says she likes the idea of guys jerking off over her pic and video. I guess she is a happy girl then! Jasmine says she loves when two guys take her at the same time.. well i would up for that! Want to join me?

more into this:

Jasmine is married, but her husband has NO idea that she is doing this. She says she likes the idea of guys jerking off over her pic and video. I already did my part to help make her a happy girl! Jasmine also says she loves when two guys take her at the same time... now I need to find someone to join me.

Add conviction. Make it sound like you mean it when you wanna fuck somebody. Wouldn't hurt to throw in some details about the sensation of the action as if you were in it rather then just state the action like you're watching from the outside.

For example:

a pair of tits to slide your dick into and a hot little pussy for afters

could read:

tits which could caress a man's dick like soft fleshy pillows and a hot little pussy that would grab on tight when you're ready for some REAL sex

[marcjacob]

Yeah i see that. I think i need to do some research, i have kind of jumped into it with both feet. I should have read some straight blogs first to get a feel for what im meant to be writing.

Thanks for the advice so far i apreciate it, any more very welcome!

[marcjacob]

BTW id love to say that im better at Gay but i think that needs spicing up too. I guess the nuances advices is where im trying to head but not really getting it? Is that what makes the sales?

[Receptor]

It's hard to say what will get you sales. Experiment a bit and find out yourself. I've recently changed my sponsor and I am at flat 0 atm. And I am doing exactly what I've been doing with my last sponsor. Play with words, add pictures and don't give up after a week! If you will stay in this biz you will learn it's tricks and soon you'll be getting your sales

But also - spicing your text will convince surfer to get into your sponsor's site. So start reading some other blogs and get the idea how and what you should write.

[walrus]

Originally Posted by marcjacob

BTW id love to say that im better at Gay but i think that needs spicing up too. I guess the nuances advices is where im trying to head but not really getting it? Is that what makes the sales?

Personally, I try to paint a fantasy with words which entices the surfer to click further.

But then again, I prefer the soft sell. I look at like I'm doing the pre-sales work and then turn it over to the sponsors tour for the hard sell.