The Pope Has Died

[Useless]

In the year of your lord 1989, a drunk Marine declared that I was god on the beach of Monterey Bay. (I had helped him up after he fell in the sand and handed his white Stetson to him) Later that year, a smallish man with a big scar on his forehead offered me a blowjob for giving him directions to the Monterey Yacht Club, which was just around the corner from where we were. He had a hard time believing that I wasn't gay. He said that if I'm not gay, then there is no god. My wife often screams 'oh god' during orgasm. But she also says 'oh fuck'. Those are my closest brushes with the possibility of a higher power.

[Kinky]

when I was a little kid I got dragged to church and had to give 50 cents of my allowance to the collection plate every weekend.... I'm still completely pissed about that it really is ridiculous... they had seperate smaller envelopes for the little ones to uses that just held change

[Useless]

Originally Posted by kinky

when I was a little kid I got dragged to church and had to give 50 cents of my allowance to the collection plate every weekend.... I'm still completely pissed about that

Yup, I too was raised Catholic, though my brother and I only completed our first communion. The Sunday after our communion, our parents asked us if we still wanted to go to church. Ha! That was a tough one to answer. When I first enlisted in the army, I had them put Roman Catholic on my dog tags. A year later I got new tags which read 'None' on the religion line. I've a been a devout member of the Church of None ever since. There's no tithe, I can sleep in Sundays, and I don't feel guilty about dumping my seed on rim of the toilet.