Women and porn

[Trixie]

I do think it's an untapped market. I also think there's a wide variety of porn that interests women, and it's a bad assumption to think all or even most women want softcore stuff; most of the chicks I know including myself like hardcore stuff and even some really REALLY kinky stuff. I don't think that's unusual to find with women. Yes, there are women who like what is traditionally viewed as "for women" porn. And there are also women who love seeing gang bangs, guy-on-guy stuff, hardcore, etc.

The problems, I think, are 1) that women don't really want to spend money on porn -- they prefer to spend money on lipstick, underwear . . . FOOD . . . shit like that, 2) most porn alienates or disregards women as consumers -- there's a lot of porn (especially gay porn) out there that would work for women, but is marketed so exclusively and obviously to men as to make it really unwelcoming, and 3) women don't get how internet porn works yet -- they get how social networking sites work and they get how story sites work. And those sites are free for women. Women know how to get porn for free online just as well as men do, if not better, and are five billion times more resistant to paying for it once they do so you have to really provide a PERSONAL reason for joining a site, like that they will be supporting a regular person they'll be able to spy on and talk to.

FYI: the one time we were recognized in our town as Trixie and Delia? IT WAS BY A WOMAN who had seen my cam shows and become a fan of our sites. Clearly, women do like porn or they wouldn't be coming up to me in the grocery store like I'm a fucking celebrity or something.

[Trixie]

Oh, and I should also acknowledge that I'm sort of weird and maybe not representative of all women. After all, I masturbated to a picture of a shoe today. Just a shoe, that's it, so what do *I* know about the average woman?

[papagmp]

Originally Posted by Trixie

I do think it's an untapped market. I also think there's a wide variety of porn that interests women, and it's a bad assumption to think all or even most women want softcore stuff; most of the chicks I know including myself like hardcore stuff and even some really REALLY kinky stuff. I don't think that's unusual to find with women. Yes, there are women who like what is traditionally viewed as "for women" porn. And there are also women who love seeing gang bangs, guy-on-guy stuff, hardcore, etc.

The kinky side sounds like my Aerynn, if it ain’t really REALLY kinky, she doesn't want anything to do with it. The girls that I know that buy porn are a way on the exocentric side. One only buys bi-sexual porn and another loves to watch the anal violations of men. In fact, she was stating this in Target one day while we were standing in line. I think the old lady in front of us about died – especially when I kept egging her on for details and she kept detailing what she does to her man………

Originally Posted by Trixie

The problems, I think, are 1) that women don't really want to spend money on porn -- they prefer to spend money on lipstick, underwear . . . FOOD . . .

FOOD – hell, I buy my porn first - who would have figured....

Originally Posted by Trixie

most porn alienates or disregards women as consumers -- there's a lot of porn (especially gay porn) out there that would work for women, but is marketed so exclusively and obviously to men as to make it really unwelcoming, and 3) women don't get how internet porn works yet -- they get how social networking sites work and they get how story sites work. And those sites are free for women. Women know how to get porn for free online just as well as men do, if not better, and are five billion times more resistant to paying for it once they do so you have to really provide a PERSONAL reason for joining a site, like that they will be supporting a regular person they'll be able to spy on and talk to.

I do think you're right on women accessing free porn. My model, Tasha, has a pretty good porn collection but she’s stolen most of it as I suspect way too many men and women have.

As for PERSONAL reasons, TigerMom and I were talking on the same lines. Is it that women want to “connect” with their fantasies – to have some sort of bond?

[papagmp]

Originally Posted by Trixie

Oh, and I should also acknowledge that I'm sort of weird and maybe not representative of all women. After all, I masturbated to a picture of a shoe today. Just a shoe, that's it, so what do *I* know about the average woman?

Just Dance Away

You danced past me this morning
with nary a glance
a new hop in your step
a new jig in your prance.

I lie there discarded,
among your castaway things,
like so many before me,
just another short fling.

I tried not to notice
that I’d been replaced by such trash,
thrown out like the others
scuffed,
tarnished,
then smashed.

But you hurt me, you pained me
you wore me quite thin,
you used me each day
then did it again.

No thoughts for my feelings,
no rest from your pride,
you used completely
then cast me aside.

And oh how we danced –
to the music each night,
with me as your partner
we were such a sight.

We spun and we twirled
and we partied till dawn
till one selfish minute
I’m cast out - and you’re gone.

So move on and replace me
see if I mind,
just throw me out
and see what you find.

For I’m old, I’m battered
and no longer new
just one more pair
of your discarded shoes.

© 2007 R. Reese

[tigermom]

You're a poet too? Oh my! If I weren't already spoken for, I'd have a go at being your next Missus lol

Anyway, I am also curious, obviously. I was talking to Papa about a new concept for a website for women, which I haven't seen yet, where you have a solo male model (much like solo female performers) at the center of the site, talking to women, carrying out kinky hardcore stuff with female partners (maybe even inviting female members to join in?), with a personal approach. Think of a male Lorsha, Deep Sabrina, Kat Vixen you name it. If I would find such a site, with a hot guy, I might consider joining.

*Note* "Hot guy" has little to do with looks in my book. They're a good basis, but if he's stupid, cold-hearted or lacks a sense of humor, I don't care how good looking he is, he just won't do it to me.

[papagmp]

Originally Posted by tigermom

You're a poet too? Oh my! If I weren't already spoken for, I'd have a go at being your next Missus lol

Anyway, I am also curious, obviously. I was talking to Papa about a new concept for a website for women, which I haven't seen yet, where you have a solo male model (much like solo female performers) at the center of the site, talking to women, carrying out kinky hardcore stuff with female partners (maybe even inviting female members to join in?), with a personal approach. Think of a male Lorsha, Deep Sabrina, Kat Vixen you name it. If I would find such a site, with a hot guy, I might consider joining.

*Note* "Hot guy" has little to do with looks in my book. They're a good basis, but if he's stupid, cold-hearted or lacks a sense of humor, I don't care how good looking he is, he just won't do it to me.

I haven't written in a while - my ex stole/destroyed over two hundred poems (about 20 were good) when she destroyed my diaries. I wrote a lot of bitter stuff after the divorce – some of it pretty darn good, then I got busy. You got me thinking and when I saw Trixie’s comment about shoes I had to dig that one out.

I used to write with an awesome group of women poets on ivillage.com but time has slipped away and I haven’t participated in a few months –
the girls on the board used to drive me mad at times......

Quatrain in Monorhyme

Women in their maddened state
Laugh at me as I contemplate.
I tried to love and learned to hate
Now I sit alone and masturbate.

© R Reese 2006

And speaking of “cold hearted”……

Undressing You Slowly

Undressing you slowly,
I take care not to wake you
as I strip you -
of all protection -
naked.

Flawless flesh reveled,
I stroke you
Gently:
so firm,
so moist,
so tempting

But I wait –
for you are not all -
not all -
that I need you to be.

For I find you:
repugnant,
repulsive and vain.

Grasping a knife,
I forge on –
I'll change you,
forever,
not for others - but for me.

Resist not,
for I will -
will have my way.

And you will succumb
to my deepest desires,
my most basic needs,
my most animal lust
and you will do it -
and do it with glee!

Placing the blade
against your chilled
unblemished flesh,
I press –
gently
then firmer
and the knife slices clean.

The tears come abruptly,
staining the moment,
destroying my joy.

And I weep –
weep not for -
but because.

Hot oil smokes,
beckoning scars to your delicate flesh,
offering discolor to your bitterer heart,
and sweetness to your pungent soul.

And I offer it all to you -
as a gift!

Glaring through bittersweet tears,
I cast your battered flesh
to the scalding oil’s revenge

My tears vanish
as the sweet aroma
of your smoldering flesh
fills the room.

Why? You ask – why indeed.

Because I can’t love –
can’t love you –
you as you are.

So I’m forced to change you
with fire and blade –
for I’ve always preferred –
my onions ––
–– sautéed.

© R Reese 2006

[gandalfuy]

i think its a psychological issue, not a biological one.

[emjay]

As the cancellation of the “snowgathering” event earlier this year demonstrated, there are still many misconceptions around the world with regard to the relationship between women, sex and porn.

You may recall that a rape group there likened us pornographers to drug traffickers and child molesters – ultimately resulting in the cancellation of attendee’s hotel rooms by Radisson, a hotel chain that makes millions worldwide from pay-per-view porn in their hotel rooms.

Whilst the Icelandic example maybe extreme, the underlying common misperception still exists : Porn exploits women.

The Irony is, (most) porn actually celebrates women in all their wonderful shapes and sizes – unlike mainstream, which does not. When last did you see perfume being promoted by BBW?

Another common misconception is that porn is for men only. No so. Just ask any webmaster with compelling male content. According to the Internet Filter Review, Women are the fastest growing audience in this industry and one in three visitors to all adult websites is a woman.

Furthermore, a study recently conducted at Emory University debunked another myth by suggesting that when women view porn they are more likely to look at the area of sexual activity first – unlike us men, who apparently look at the female subject’s faces first, looking for signs of arousal that would not be so obvious by viewing other body parts.

A brief glance on the front covers of most women’s magazines will confirm the fact – the fairer sex are just as obsessed with sex as men are, perhaps even more so!

The phenomenally successful book “Diary of a Sex Fiend” by Abby Lee (based on her blog http://girlwithaonetrackmind.blogspot.com) simply reinforces this possibility.

And whilst our industry, like so many others, is still be dominated by big men with even bigger egos, women are increasingly making an impact commercially too.

A case in point is Jacqueline Gold, who has brought sex to UK’s high street. She is one of the Britain’s most powerful businesswomen and has single help change the perception of sex shops from being seedy hangouts full of dirty old men into attractive places for adults to visit.

What is more, upon so doing on my last trip to London, I could not see another male customer in sight!

A male webmaster friend of mine once relayed the story of how he wanted to capture a slice of the “feminine” pie, and set about launching a website aimed at women. It flopped. Why? He claims this was because it was developed my men.

He then handed over the editorial control of the site to his wife and claims that since doing so the site goes from strength to strength.

I expect we will witness the emergence of such websites in the months and years ahead...

[papagmp]

Originally Posted by emjay

The Irony is, (most) porn actually celebrates women in all their wonderful shapes and sizes – unlike mainstream, which does not. When last did you see perfume being promoted by BBW?

Maybe we should be promoting perfume on our BBW sites Munchies (Kiri) suggested deodorant! |badidea|

Originally Posted by emjay

Another common misconception is that porn is for men only. No so. Just ask any webmaster with compelling male content. According to the Internet Filter Review, Women are the fastest growing audience in this industry and one in three visitors to all adult websites is a woman.

Free or pay sites?

Originally Posted by emjay

Furthermore, a study recently conducted at Emory University debunked another myth by suggesting that when women view porn they are more likely to look at the area of sexual activity first – unlike us men, who apparently look at the female subject’s faces first, looking for signs of arousal that would not be so obvious by viewing other body parts.

Heck, I do look at the face first.... never thought about it though. I an eclectic taste but I buy more porn based on a face than anything else. (I even think I stated this in another thread on this site – something about banners/content/sponsor content matching if I remember correctly)

Originally Posted by emjay

A brief glance on the front covers of most women’s magazines will confirm the fact – the fairer sex are just as obsessed with sex as men are, perhaps even more so!

Hell yes, just take a look at the LESBIAN POETRY FORUM if you’re not convinced.

Originally Posted by emjay

And whilst our industry, like so many others, is still be dominated by big men with even bigger egos, women are increasingly making an impact commercially too.

A case in point is Jacqueline Gold, who has brought sex to UK’s high street. She is one of the Britain’s most powerful businesswomen and has single help change the perception of sex shops from being seedy hangouts full of dirty old men into attractive places for adults to visit.

What is more, upon so doing on my last trip to London, I could not see another male customer in sight!

I see this in the local shops and clubs and the Beate Uhse and other shops in Germany when I travel there. I will say that my observations put the age of these female customers under 25 in the US and maybe 30 in central Europe. Does this mean that more mature women are less interested in porn than their younger sisters or is it that the more mature woman has more social morays to contend with than the younger ladies?

(of course, I still hang out there so there is some truth to the myth)

Originally Posted by emjay

I expect we will witness the emergence of such websites in the months and years ahead...

That makes two of us.

[munchie]

Most of the girls I've talked to like one of two things (unless your me. Then you like it all...). I know a twenty five year old with a library worth of romance novels. Then I know chicks who watch hardcore and get into anal. I think a big issue is age. The older crowd views it as bad or unmoral for a FEMALE to look at porn (or so I was raised by my religous parents). The younger crowd is seeing sex as an area to experiment. Did you know schools these days worry more about girls holding hands than a girl and a guy? Most girls I know still say girl/girl does nothing for them oddly... |confused|
Anywho... I'ld say smut novels are the largest market for women. Women have more of an imagination than men.

[Bobc01]

Yeah, whoever creates credit card & shopping porn would of cracked the market.

[Ms Naughty]

Well, dammit, I go away for a few weeks and come back to a thread I should have answered days ago. Will have a read and get back to it when I've sorted through all my email.

[zack2004]

Women watching porn is like men watching synchronized swimming! Purpel dollars is your best bet.
They are not visual creatures, women, like to be held, talked to, or remember a sexual experience. Viewing a facial might not be a turn-on!

[papagmp]

Originally Posted by zack2004

Viewing a facial might not be a turn-on!

Unless the one getting the facial is the last guy that gave them one

[Ms Naughty]

Women ARE visual, women like porn, women are easily turned on by watching sex. That's scientifically proven.

The problem is that most porn is made for men and reflects men's experiences and men's fantasies. It also speaks almost exclusively to a male audience using language that doesn't appeal to women. So the idea that women don't like porn is inaccurate. I'd say most women don't like the porn that's currently available.

You can't define "what women want" any more than you can say what men want. There's a huge range of tastes out there, as other female webmasters have pointed out.

The aim is to appeal to the majority which is what we try to do at Purple Dollars. Think about the women in the audience of Oprah. That's a huge fucking market, and that's where we're at. We're straight, middle of the road porn and we use language that actually talks to women. We use hardcore porn pics but we edit out the cumshots and make sure there's kissing and foreplay - but it's not content that's important. You could have serious hardcore stuff provided you focus on female pleasure. If you want to know what I mean there, watch Tristan Taormino's Chemistry films.

There are a couple of dyke sites out there - Cyberdyke, The Crash Pad and Real Dyke Porn. I promote them to women and they do well enough.

I refuse to promote Female POV because all the language on that site is aimed at men. It's not really a site for women at all.

A male-focused site with language that speaks to women would probably be great. Most of the male porn star sites out there are still aimed at a male audience.

I've written various posts on this topic before, I could go on for hours but I won't - Labor has just won the federal election here and I've had lots of champagne!!!!

Maybe I'll post more on Monday.

Thanks to all those who plugged Purple Dollars. We really appreciate your support. We've been successfully marketing to women for four and a half years now, so I think we're doing something right

[XxxMina]

most porn is made for men and reflects men's experiences and men's fantasies. It also speaks almost exclusively to a male audience using language that doesn't appeal to women. So the idea that women don't like porn is inaccurate. I'd say most women don't like the porn that's currently available.

Amen.

And for my own 2 cents, regarding the assumption that women need romance and softcore imagery, whenever I actually DO take the time to look at anything, it's generally a hardcore penetration shot or gangbang stuff, so long as the image supports the interpretation that SHE'S the one getting some action and enjoying it.

Most of what's out there is one-dimensional and too solely male-targeted -- and it's wayyyyy too base and aggressive. "Dirty fuckin whore chokin on cock" is NOT likely to entice me to click on whatever crap has that description linked to it. It's more likely to make my stomach churn and congratulate myself on not leaving the house alone too often.

And consider buying a Tazer. And a gun. And a big dog. And learning Karate.

WHEN I bother to look at anything at all, I prefer genuine amateur stuff, especially when it comes from a ballsy chick with the backbone to grab a guy by the back of the head and demand some action. The few times I actually have gone to see any live content, it's certainly been amateur, from couples with a strong female.

If what was out there was more about female pleasure, as opposed to reinforcing the "brainless degraded fuckin' whore" fantasy, I might give a shit.

In the meantime, making my own, my way, is my preferred form of erotic entertainment.

[tickler]

Originally Posted by grandmascrotum

Women ARE visual, women like porn, women are easily turned on by watching sex. That's scientifically proven.

Hmm, another scientific study in progress about male/female views on porn. It will be interesting to see the final results.
http://www.xxxmina.com/webmasters.html

I like the line at the end though!
"It's a losing battle for those trying to fight such addictions by ridding society of pornography. A better understanding of ourselves may go much further. "

[Ms Naughty]

Tickler you used the wrong URL there.

Wait, I found it by other means. It's this, right?
http://www.philly.com/inquirer/colum...orn_more_.html

I have to say, I'd get bored with having to look at hot or not pictures too. But if it was pics of people actually having sex, you'd have a very different result, I suspect.

[LD]

I remember back when the Internet first became popular, I knew guys that bought a computer just so they could download really crappy images in binary format, usually tying up a phone line for hours on a slow modem. It was new, it was exciting, and 99.9999% male. Most women wouldn't go to the trouble.

I know a lot of the “women this, men that” are generalities and there are exceptions, but after reading some of the replies I am thinking women (generally speaking, there are always exceptions) are maybe more...I dunno, "discriminating" when it comes to this stuff.

[tickler]

Ooops! Yeah, you got the link right.

I guess I was saving the URL for Minas site at the same time, and overwrote the one on the clipboard!

I tend to think it may have a more biological base though. Guys tend to look at female sex parts because those parts have evolved to atract male attention. Notice I highlighted the LOOK.

I also figure females tend to be more thinking about whether the male will be a good provider. Notice I highlighted the THINKING.

So males are maybe more visually stimulated, and females are maybe more mentally stimulated.

[papagmp]

Originally Posted by tickler

I also figure females tend to be more thinking about whether the male will be a good provider.

That won't figure with most of the girls I know.... Most of their boyfriends are losers!

I think looking for the “provider” is a taught/learned behavior not instinctive. Too many girls fall for the “bad boys” when they're young only to get burned – most learn, some don’t.

[Ms Naughty]

I don't like to get into the sex vs provider argument because sometimes I feel it doesn't fit and it's a bit simplistic.

Emjay mentioned the study where it was women who were looking at the sex bits, not the men. Here's an article on it:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19330231/

The statistic I always hang my hat on is Neilsen Netratings finding that 30% of all porn surfers are women. Not as much as men, but plenty significant.