Actual letter to the Canadian Passport office

Twiceshy · 2010-02-06, 10:57 PM

Dear Mr... Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows
that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal
Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.
For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?
My birth date you have on my social insurance card, and it is on all the
income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health
insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn passports
I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out
before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those
insufferable census forms that are done at election times.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is
Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that
ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!
SHIT!
I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you
an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my
house, then you ask me for my fuckin' address. What is going on? You have a
gang of Neanderthal assholes workin' there!
Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up
Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy
beach.
And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan
on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do
something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not
want to tell anyone!
Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and
get another fuckin' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60!!!
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to
assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??
Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us
running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off,
then find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture
- you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (fuckin'
morons)
Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off!
Signed - An Irate fucking Canadian Citizen.
P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to
confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776
when one of my forefathers took up arms against the Americans. I have served
in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances
up the yingyang.
I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our province for ten years
and I have been doing volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years.
However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know,
someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST fucking CHINA !!!

Mike-mijen · 2010-02-07, 08:41 AM

LMFAO!!!!

Ramster · 2010-02-07, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twiceshy

However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST fucking CHINA !!!

I like that part, it's so true.

ArtWilliams · 2010-02-07, 09:54 AM

Funny!

terry · 2010-02-07, 10:21 AM

HAHAHA you didnt really send that did you?

Nymph · 2010-02-07, 11:25 AM

Quote:

You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuckin' address.

Gotta love this one.

bluebrit · 2010-02-07, 01:22 PM

Boy will they ever scrutinize your application after that!! Good luck with it.

2010-02-06, 10:57 PM	#1
Twiceshy You can now put whatever you want in this space :) Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Canada Posts: 958	Actual letter to the Canadian Passport office Dear Mr... Minister, I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this. How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a t.v. cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date. For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand? My birth date you have on my social insurance card, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health insurance card, my driver's license, on the last eight goddamn passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done at election times. Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Maryanne, my father's name is Robert and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!! SHIT! I apologize, Mr. Minister. I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my fuckin' address. What is going on? You have a gang of Neanderthal assholes workin' there! Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to dig up Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy beach. And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone! Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city and get another fuckin' copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60!!! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day?? Nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the fuckin' place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some asshole to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know, the one where we're not allowed to smile?! (fuckin' morons) Hey, you know why we can't smile? We're totally pissed off! Signed - An Irate fucking Canadian Citizen. P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776 when one of my forefathers took up arms against the Americans. I have served in the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances up the yingyang. I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our province for ten years and I have been doing volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am - you know, someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST fucking CHINA !!!

2010-02-07, 10:21 AM	#5
terry You can now put whatever you want in this space :) Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Montreal Posts: 5,883	HAHAHA you didnt really send that did you? __________________ Stop That 9 To 5 Go Green Grocery Store

2010-02-07, 08:41 AM	#2
Mike-mijen What do you mean, my birth certificate expired? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Fla Posts: 995	LMFAO!!!!

2010-02-07, 09:54 AM	#4
ArtWilliams You can now put whatever you want in this space :) Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 6,244	Funny!

2010-02-07, 01:22 PM	#7
bluebrit Along for the ride and loving it. Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Canada Posts: 1,873	Boy will they ever scrutinize your application after that!! Good luck with it.